If they ask you if you know who blew up the house on the hill, say you have no idea who would even do such a thing.
“Well, I mean it’s not unlikely that all of us have blown up a house or somethin’.”
“speaking of blowing up”
Welcome to the arena I am the cop
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“There’s a corpse in my basement and I have no idea how it got here.”
“I was out at work and suddenly I am BURDENED with the knowledge that someone was living in my walls all this time and SOMEONE ELSE possibly murdered someone, and tried to frame me.”
“Anyway is there any evidence which points to who could’ve possibly done this shit.”
I come out of the closet.
Hello officer!
“Speaking of the guy living in my walls, there he is.”
“Since I’m not a landlord and also did not know of his presence until now I couldn’t charge him for rent or some shit idk. And I probably won’t from this point forward either.”
What? No, that’s the other guy! I’m Johnathan! Johnathan Fakename!
“I’m not detective i’m just a cop I thought you guys were some tiktok stars pranking for for clout when I got the call”
“Like what, ozy and Pedestrian?”
“Didn’t those two get in trouble for this shit?”
the weasel goes through the window well and leaves
Investigate the body, seeing as the cop on the scene uh… isn’t a detective. Yes, I’m even more unqualified but whatever.
““Fear the shadows”, right?”
“I wonder what happens if we turn the lights off.”
He flicks the basement light off while holding out his flashlight.
“Either way, it’s a good time to gather more information.”
the shadows begin to move at the edges of the flashlights beam. Hands begin to try and reach out to grab the light.
“Oh.”
“@CrimsonCreate uh, do you have a fire-arm?”
He points at the nuclear control rod on your arm.
“We do not talk about the rod”
“Hands are coming from the darkness and trying to grab my damn light.”
“I have a sneaking suspicion this anomaly might be what killed the guy tied in the chair too.”
“Just a hunch.”
He flicks the light towards them to ward off the hands.
“I sure hope this buys us some more time.”
MY MIDNIGHT SNACK!