On that note, you probably should have linked the webpage that the full story can be found from in the original post, so that those interested can check it out.
again im hiving you information here the reader does not know this information was litterally released last chapter it has been built up A LOT
oh apart from some parts of it being hard to read and some parts not making major sense he’s fine. i don’t really care i’m just trying to help (and be the biggest yapper)
Ima make that topic now
oh okay then completely ignore my yap session about that part lmao
it’s all about that intial buildup then following up with minor tidbits so just do that and you’re good in that department
would you mind explaining to me how a story with meaningful events… can happen?
You have a character that has literally killed gods, existed for so long that they know basically everything, and is unkillable. How do you have any actual stakes or real events occur when a character like this exists? Every single conflict that could happen in this story would have either next to no stakes, or wouldn’t have a good reason to occur, simply because something like this oc completely invalidates everything.
You could always say something like “He doesn’t want to”, but that’s just lazy and, frankly, doesn’t make much sense, given that they’ve sworn to fight against all tyranny. I just don’t see how you could really write any sort of story aside from people just living in a town when you’ve written a character that solves literally every single problem that could ever happen in said story.
long story short he is the perfect god killer he has several aspects that basically make him their natural enemy. plus he isn’t the main character if there were to be a main character in my stories it would be Aizen Gray or the red apostles however i use a number of measures to create actually interesting fights.
again, how? how do you manage any sort of interesting fight or conflict when this thing exists?
Don’t say “he isn’t the main character”, that doesn’t matter in any way. How does any conflict happen with this character existing?
maybe you’ll just have to keep reading and find out.
I’m sorry but given that you’ve literally written the stereotypical edgy super ancient immortal hyperpowerful OC I don’t think your story is worth my time
given your reluctance to read i doubt any is in your eyes.
LOL people are bashing this guy’s writing when he hasn’t even asked to be criticized…
Absolute insanity, the guy’s OC isn’t even bad compared to what I’ve seen on Undertale fandoms as a kid back then.
It’s leaning towards more of a overpowered protagonist power fantasy type stuff. And the story about him being devoted to destroy tyranny and what not is a decent start. (or a goal to change the world?) Nothing wrong there.
Who said everyone had to abide by the rules of the entire plot of AO??? Even my OC’s AO verse isn’t entirely 1-to-1 to Vetex’s because it’s fanfiction lol.
I will say however you might wanna use Grammarly like unlucky said.
Check out this guy’s channel and you’ll begin finding many eerily similar coincidences
public forum blah blah blah reserve the right to comment, parody, and criticize blah blah blah you problem skill issue lmao
post your own creations online and expect criticism
my criticism was aimed towards trying to point out issues with some of the concepts shown here
also yall are aware i posted a a summary of it i actually tried on in a diff post so you may want to read that.
what happened :(( I didn’t bother to read it because if stuff aren’t paragraphed it genuinely hurts my eyes
(I have a lot of trouble reading stuff on screen lol)
I tried to simply give a short overview of Arron’s lore and their freaking out cuz i didn’t bother to add grammar. and im sitting here like its a freaking summary this isn’t anywhere near the real thing.
This is one of the methods, the other being exposing it to an electromagnetic field (please take this with a grain of salt I haven’t read chemistry in a while) to hahafunny lmao the electrons.
I’m pretty sure said gas HAS to be neutral too
You have to make your summary intriguing, like the blurbs on the back of the books for people to actually feel the need to reed it!! And the lore has to be interesting enough for people to get hooked.