Tax Evasion 101

[key]

Hello dear reader. I am the narrator. I read. I do not ask questions. Not even questions on why you are reading a book on how to evade taxes. As I don’t ask, you too should not ask how and why this book exists. Now, lets get on with it.

1. Emergence

You are sitting at your dinner table. You bite your tongue, wondering how your taxes went so out of hand. It was at this moment that the legendary Giga-Chaddest, Andrew Tate appeared.
“Son. You do not have to pay your taxes. ASCEND. ASCEND AND EVADE… EVADE THE TAX!”, said Andrew Tate. You accept, and he teaches you the ancient art of Tax Evasion.

2. Action

First. You do not pay your taxes. This causes the IRS to take notice. They come knocking on your door, but you bring out your Remington and quickly dispatch them. You will, by no means, pay your taxes. Then, you summon your 9.99 dollar Lambo, and take a ride for the highway.

3. Guarde

The IRS is hot on your trail. 135 Ninjas appear, and slice your Lambo to shreds. You have an epic anime battle and come out victorious, but now the IRS is here. You use your teleporter and reappear in the nearest Grocery Store. Now is your time to prepare.

4. Preparazione

You buy 100 gallons of Oil. Then, you buy 2 rolls of Flex Tape, and 2 rolls of Gorilla tape, as well as Gorilla Snot Hair Gel. Then, you buy 15 gun magazines, a 9mm, and your local Vetexgames. You heat up the oil, and put them in bucket prank-traps above all the door entrances. Anyone who enters will have a nasty surprise. Then, you fill the grocery store entrance up with syrup, and put a wall of legos infront of the sliding doors. Now, you are ready. Its time to put an end to the IRS.

5. Niki

They came from the back, first. 10 of them suffered the fate of death to oil, and the others marched on. However, they fell to the syrup, and your bullets. 20 of them came from the front. Your local Vetexgames electrocutes them to ashes as they try to break down the Lego wall. 30 more appear. They manage to break down the Lego wall, however, this caused the Legos to spread. Many of them lost their shoes to the sticky syrup, and now they were walking bear footed on the Legos. You fill them up with your bullets.
Its over. You have successfully evaded taxes. Now, you take the armored vehicle in the parking lot of the grocery store to your local Nasa. Then, you use the space ship to live on Mars. No more taxes.

The end. I hope you managed to evade your taxes, dear reader.

[WarmWater]

could this perhaps be an attempt to imitate this?

@DRobinHood

Lets be generous with the force we’re up against and assume that we are dealing with at least 5 rapscallions that have come for our precious 2016 tax forms (it’s the CRA trying to get me to pay my taxes).

Lets also assume that we have around 1 hour before they arrive. Now, our home defense plan will be split into two phases: preparation, and defense

---

Preparation:
First, we create mixture of maple syrup and sugar in a large pot. We leave this to boil in the background while we make other preparations.

Next, we begin to fortify windows. Any window that can be opened is locked, and we nail a couple of cardboard panels across them. Not exactly durable, but it’ll slow them down.

We also lock all of the doors except for the kitchen entrance, you’ll see why soon enough. The door to the porch is fortified by moving the couch in front of it. It opens inwards, so any adversaries will be significantly slowed by this.

We then grab a lighter and a can of hairspray. As a contingency, we also douse the living room in gasoline using a spare jerry can from the shed.

As our final preparation, we carefully balance the pot of sugar + maple syrup over the slightly-opened kitchen entrance. Its like the good ol’ bucket of water prank; except in this case its more like hot tar. We also grab a selection of knives from the kitchen.

---

Defense:
As our hour of prep time comes to a close, we begin hearing a window in the bedroom being broken. Rushing there, hairspray and lighter in hand, we see a CRA agent attempting to claw their way through the cardboard panel. We ward off their attack using our makeshift flamethrower. Their face goes up in flames.

we also hear a crash from the kitchen shortly followed by horrific screams as someone has their upper body melted by our little tar trap. Rushing back to the kitchen, we see two agents: one writhing on the ground in pain, and the other attempting to help their comrade. We stab the uninjured one several times until they stop moving, and the other one is down for the count anyways. So we leave them to their misery for now.

During this time, two of the agents have forced their way into the living room. We had been counting on only one agent attempting to get through that entrance. Not two. Still, that was why we doused the area in gasoline.

While we do lose the house, we can commit insurance fraud to get most of the money back, and the bodies of the agents are easily disposed of in the flames. After we finish off the survivors with our knife.

[key]

oh yeah I remember that
it was inspired by it but I couldnt remember who did it

[key]

@ him for me

[WarmWater]

@DRobinHood ?

[key]

yee
inspired by that guy

[DubiousLittleTyp0]

sir this is a forum about an upcoming naval based exploration magical rpg lego game with a playerbase of (mostly) teenagers around the ages of 13 or 17.

[ShadowJGaming]

Ngl I was hoping that this was an actual tutorial for tax evasion for some reason

[WarmWater]

.
It isn’t!?
I’m on step 4!
FUCK