Where are you? How did you get there??
And here I had this whacky theory that it was a reference to the band Gloryhammer
if there was a 
reaction i would put it
I tried to decrypt the hammer and got a few bits wrong, and came to the crackpot conclusion this is the corpse of someone heavily based on Angus McFife. I’m now trying to find everywhere I mentioned this to formally discredit it.
He couldn’t handle that Glacier Freeze Gatorade 
bro stayed in the hottub for too long
you are half a year late.
we gotta stop these necrobumpin dawg