So, you might know me as BiologLOL. I know what comes in mind when seeing this name. There and now, I am about to change it. I am not the one who gives up, even now. If I think I am not deserving this type of punishment, I will do what I can and what I can’t to redeem myself.
This tale is NOT from the kind of those last words of perm banned people. I am NOT one of them, I am NOT one of those who can only sow destruction on forums. Even though my reputation had given me a title of Evil Vitality, this is not what I was planning to be known for when I have joined the forums.
First months - first mistakes
All this began when I joined forums eight months ago. I had one goal in mind: find out whatever is known about Vitality and Spirit weapons. Can’t say I have succeeded, but I found that one topic that made me who am I now: “What are your ideas for vitality” by Zel. This one had changed my mind about my goal.
I thought that I will be able to speed up Vitality development by suggesting my own ideas. I made some in that topic, and people liked them. I then proceeded to develop them further, and even after leaving that topic because it has died, I still continued.
I know, this was a really bad idea, but at that time I was new to the forums, and didn’t know anything about them. I proceeded to talk about my ideas literally everywhere. Worth mentioning, I tried to do that in the most popular topics. It is not that difficult to guess which one topic I ended up in: Reminders.
Since then, people started to dislike me. They saw me as just an ordinary derailer. I became very annoying for some people, and the end of that period was my first time being silenced: two days.
The beginning of understanding
Two days are obviously not enough to change anything. I continued doing what I was doing, but this time in Vitality topics. At this time, I also started to discuss trello updates in Reminders, just like others did. But, of course, with mentioning Vitality in almost every post. This was also very annoying, but I didn’t realise it. I even tried to apply for Suggestor role to post my ideas, even though I have seen in rules of suggestions that no Vitality of Warden suggestions are allowed.
I thought people saw me as a weird man who got some interesting ideas about one of main four stat routes in the game. But I was wrong. People didn’t want me to be on forums, they didn’t care about my ideas. Breaking point of my story on forums was my second time of being silenced: two months, november 2nd to january 1st.
Start of a new life?
During those two months, my rate of visiting the forums hasn’t dropped. I still was one of most active members, and even now I am. Being unable to write, I reacted a lot. Also, during those months, I had a lot of free time to explore these forums, what exactly are they, what are their rules, and what I should do to be a part of them.
That time, I had changed. I truly entered the forums. I even got a title, that was assembled from many precisely given names from forumers: the Evil Vitality. With all this, I have returned to the forums from two months of silence, and began my new life.
Due to my high rate of visiting the forums, I was able to be in many topics at once. I was not spamming about my ideas anymore, I was just chatting with people. Yes, those discussions were much longer than those where were no me. And this is probably one of reasons some people though I am still a spammer.
Also, due to my new identity, I was sometimes mentioning the Vitality. Not the ideas, just Vitality. Even now I see nothing wrong with me doing that, because that seemingly didn’t annoy anyone, and kinda suited my title. I like being associated with Vitality, and even when I will return, I won’t abandon that habit. But I must be sure no one will ever think that I am trying to spam about my ideas ever again. This behavior died after two months of silence, and those ideas now are just a common joke rarely used by me.
Not without the mistakes
While I was silenced, I discovered two more topics that became the main ones I visit. Those were Cursed WoMents/Arcane Oddities, and Nimbus sea tre… nah, too long and boring name. It was suggested a better name, and I always use it: Reminders-but-talking-is-allowed. I am one of the most frequent repliers there, and all this was just because I was trying to answer to everyone, to be the most active forumer, to be noticed.
Some time after, I decided to make my own topic. I have made topics before, but this one was destined to become my own topic. The idea appeared when I saw Cryonical losing his control and announcing that he will give points to those who write something that isn’t a new development info. I saw this as a perfect time for a joke. Graveyard joke. Since I was derailing Reminders (without realising that) before, the idea of making a graveyard for people punished for it was perfect. I liked my graveyard, and even Cryo himself got into it. After that, of course, he added an additional rule into Reminders: replies to the development info are also allowed. Now the whole usage of graveyard has changed. Now, if someone talked bad about me or the Vitality, they were going straight into my graveyard. It was fun, wasn’t it?
Even though I said I was not breaking rules after those two months, there were several moments when I was trying to make a joke, but it was breaking the rules. I thought it would be okay, because people knew who am I and what is my reputation. Here they are - all of them:
- Weapon-specific trainers from DarkMage.
I bet you all remember who DarkMage is. From what I heard, he makes AI suggestions and posts them out of suggestions category. I saw one of his ideas, about trainer NPCs that were giving your weapons some cosmetics. I thought it would be a really good joke to enlarge his idea in, like, 10 times with my writing talents, post it as a new topic out of suggestions category and make him read it whole. Sole purpose of that was to make fun out of that, it has never been a real suggestion, it is too stupid to be one. Sadly, not everyone has my sense of humor.
- Dialogue with Cryonical at Reminders-but-talking-is-allowed.
Once, someone called the mods into Reminders-but-talking-is-allowed while saying “PURGING TIME!”. I geniunely thought that they are about to remove the freedom in this topic by placing some rules, so I tried to focus them on me rather than on the topic. After all, I knew what reputation I had, and hoped that all this would end in me being punished, and topic being untouched. I even made a joke about derailing real Reminders if something would happen with this topic. Funnily enough, mods didn’t even care about this topic and what is going on here, I just became a clown. Well, shit happens.
- Derailing a catgirl topic.
This one is even more silly than the dialogue. Someone created a topic where begged Vetex to add cat ears and tail accessories into AO. Like there were stuff like that in AA, and there are a lot of anime catgirl enjoyers among the forumers. When I saw this topic, I got only one thing in mind: raise this topic to ruins. This is the only time in my entire life in these forums when I, directly and while fully understanding what was I doing, derailed a topic. I have surely succeeded, and this topic went straight into the graveyard.
- Discovery of how to post memes.
This one was my fatal mistake. I found out how to post memes, and actively used them. But, one of them was better to not be sent. How bad must be the reputation of a person, that just a simple dark humor meme would be taken THAT seriously? Yes, that meme became the final blow that shattered mods’ patience, and they skipped the entire points system and gave me a perm ban. I didn’t mean anything but joke while posting that meme. This is the part I see as unfair. I was polite and respectful on forums, unless someone was saying bad things about the Vitality. Even then though, I did no trashtalking. And now just one meme ruined all this. Just because of my reputation.
Abyss Sea
For a long time, I have seen strange topics. At frst, I didn’t understand what they were about, but after I found the main page, I learned about the entire alternative universe in AO that was created in our forums. I enjoyed this, and started to contribute to this topic. I wrote a plenty of features there, and people approved them. I even created my own character there, and started writing his journals. In topics about Abyss Sea universe, I just was myself - without being bond to my past reputation. Almost no one there knew me, and I can say for sure I was respected as a writer. Maybe this fact would prove that I am not actually evil.
Whats next?
I know, barely anyone can survive after reading something this long, but I can’t make it shorter. All things and stories I write are long, and this is not an exception. If there will be people strong enough to read this all, they may understand my behavior. Bonds to my past are always the strongest thing. If you will let me abandon them, I will make myself a far better name. Because now I know what can be done, and what is better to not be done.
The Evil Vitality is the last grave on my graveyard. Now, that topic is nonexistent. I am planning to go into writing now. You can check Abyss Sea topic, Abyss Sea trello, and Walter Marshall journals to see what am I really talented in. I have never been asking for actual help, but now I am. Help me let my past go, forgive those mistakes, accept me back.
