Despair Chronicles-Chapter 1: No Control

A few things before the story begins:
I’m new to writing and any critique is welcome!
I may or may not continue this story!
Also, I don’t really know how to do grammar for dialogue, so :skull:
Now that those things are out of the way, let us begin!

      A giant cloud twirled in the sky, spewing out blots of rain as it howled. A young boy wearing a plain beige tunic looked up at the great storm and hurried inside the wooden creaky shack that his family owned. Storms like these were quite common in the outskirts of Mount Seawatch, the old giant that he lived next door to, and the boy grew to enjoy them.
      "Mom, the wind is whipping up a storm outside, you might want to get that clothesline put up, fast!" called the boy up the short staircase that led to the attic, his parents room. 
      "Thanks, Drake! Sorry for asking this, but can you go get your father from Bell Village? It's quite a trek and you know I worry for him." Drake's mom peeked down the stairs and gave a warm smile. She then directed her attention to Drake's sopping wet hair. "You should probably dry that hair, so that your father can see that bright red hair of yours." Drake laughed at the inside joke that had ran for so long. 
   "Sure! Also, feed Mary, she's quite hungry." He pointed at the sleeping ball of fluff on the families fireplace. "She was meowing up a storm after I had gone out to feed the chickens." His mother nodded and Drake headed out the door into the grumbling storm.
    Drake beige shirt was turned a dark brown the second he walked out the door as a gust of wind and water drenched him. His boots were caked with the red mud known in the area as he sloshed around in the puddles piling on the ground. The area was usually muddy, as it was surrounded by marshes, but this was to a new degree. Drake hunched close to his body so he was a little bit warmer and braved the storm. He hurriedly made his way down the path and was so glad when he finally saw the lights of Bell Village up ahead.
  Drake's muddy feet tapped on the wet cobble tile as he headed to the spot he knew his father was: the local Magic Council Outpost. After all, he was one of the greatest mages in the region, known for his fierce wind magic. Drake opened the door of the green decorated house and made his way to his father, who was sitting the storm out on a green chair near the large crackling fireplace. 
  "Dad, Mom wanted me to bring you home, lets go!" The bearded man turned to the boy with a grin. "Did she really make you go through that storm all alone? You are one brave boy!" Drake smiled proudly. "You're also one dripping wet boy!" He noticed, as Drake's clothes created a soppy puddle on the floor. Drake laughed and went out of the building with his father in hand. Suddenly, just as a gust of wind blew, two men appeared. They approached Drake and his father. 

       "Ah, Lucius. A pleasurrrre to meet you." One of the men began. Drake shuddered at the chilling way he rolled his r's. "Well if it isn't Mr. Garry Anderson. Drake's father, Lucius took a step forward and pushed his son backward slightly. "Not another step, Lucius." The second man began, suddenly behind Drake. "Or this one gets it." Drake held his breath to stop himself from screaming. Who where these people? What did they want with him? Drake's father held his palm out. "I'd suggest you step away from my son, or this storm will be your undoing." The men laughed. "Oh, we've heard of your master abilities to manipulate the element of gale. Your magic is quite useful, so I would suggest *you* come with us, and we spare the child." Lucius looked at his son, a desperate expression painted in his eyes. "Okay I'll come with-" Drake's breath could not be held any longer, and suddenly, a phrase filled his brain. "Say the words, and we shall strike." Drake didn't know what they were talking about. He truly didn't. But something that wasn't Drake leapt out of his consciousness through his mouth. "Lightning Creation!" He yelled, holding his arm up into the air. It took only a split second. 
  A light flooded his vision, a crash so loud he couldn't hear anything at all rocketed the ground. As it faded, he stood in a crater, dug by himself. He looked around, his vision and hearing slowly coming back to him. The person behind him was laying on the ground, face down, rain pouring on his body. The other man and his father were no where to be seen. The pouring rain was the only thing that Drake could think about as he sunk into his crater.

The End
SO! How did you guys like my first story? Leave your opinions in the comments below!


please format your story in a more friendly way

I’ll give real critque then

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also @ThatOneGuy

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Would be cool if you took it out of that block thing, that way you don’t have to scroll left and right to read it. Other than that, I did like it!

Yeah Idk why it did that :skull: probably gonna repost it!

there you go, be careful how you embed it lol

ah even in this format it seems to clip off the page idk what you did