Edward And Enizor Fanfic

Writing
1

Made by Speakableioy because @Gamehero14 don’t have any balls to write a E&E fanfic. Alright this was supposed to be a fanfic but i got sidetracker so part 1 of finding the atlantean base of operations. Im coming after that fanfic Gamehero14. Also please reply so i know how to improve pls

The hull of The Phoenix Of Freedom, crashing against the raucous ocean waves. The Captain, in his brig, the most unfathomably strong captain of the 7 sea’s, stood there, immobilised by the dark sea’s harsh attempts to knock down the his ship. Enizor, The Captain’s Second-hand Quartermaster, mage and enchanter, all in one, is peacefully reading his book while the crew is barely holding on for dear life. And then, Edward Kenton, ex-navy captain, showing no weakness whatsoever, smoldering intensely past the dark sea’s horizon’s.

Suddenly he breaks,

-“Enizor what is actually taking so long, you said it would only be a 10 minute sail as we entered the dark sea, its been 20!” He expressed.
Enizor, not breaking eye contact with his book, responds with

  • " I don’t even know where we are going Edward, I’m just following my mage instinct at this point.". Edward, with a triggered look on his face, strut’s over to Enizor, who has finally broken eye contact with his book and is looking up, only to see Edward’s angry face walking towards him.
    -“Oh come on Edward not this again”.
    Edward, without a single moment of retort, grab’s Enizor’s books and flings it several meter’s away.
    -“Don’t even know why you read that crap anyways, you know more than any other mage in the 7 sea’s anyways.”
  • “Well at least i can hear my favourite sound in the world now”. They are both trying to stay quiet over the deafening lightning of different curses. … . Nothing. The captain break’s his stare off the ocean’s horizon and say’s
    -“Land to starboard. We’ve found the Atlantean base of operation’s”. As the ship comes to a halt near the rocky mountain’s of Azalea, The captain walk’s over slowly to Enizor, who is trying to find his book on the rocky pavement, saying"
    -Next time you want to follow your “mage instinct” Enizor, Tell your captain first. Got it?". “Yes captain, it wont happen again”.
2

One of the only writing topics i actually read.
Pls add dialouge spacing, like:
-hi
-hello
Or:
“Welcome”, said the person.
“Thanks for letting me in”, responded the guest
Idk if my advice is any good, but at least like this
(Its perfect bait for actual writers to correct me)

3

i did do the thing where they respond like responded the person most of the time

4

do you like the actual story tho as well or

5

Its nice, but a bit hard to read.

6

can u follow on to that? as in its boring to read or words are hard to understand

7

Some grammatical stuff, like 7sea’s (you dont need the ', and numbers dont look good in writing unless its dates or smth, id personally write
seven seas), but other than that, this feels like a good setup for a good story

8

mb bro im in maths rn and im used to the numbers lol