A short first chapter story I wrote as a small writing practice than storing ideas in my head, now it’s my attempt to put it into writing form
Any constructive criticism is appreciated!
small mistake but it says in english instead of in England
In general grammer and description could be better. A lot of action is described rather blandly, tell me what’s happening and how it’s done,
for example
As she began to remember the plan, she threw a few gold pieces at the gold, the shining pieces bouncing off their helmets as they stopped in confusion. Using the few extra seconds the distraction had bought her she disappeared down the narrow alleyway
Also this is a bit of a nitpick, but more of a description of the city would be nice. Is it poor or rich? Is it divided into different areas? What does the daily routine look like? A good start but there are still things to work on. Certainly better then my first story though
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Ahh, I see
thanks for that suggestion, that’s a good idea actually
and eh, who cares about English is England, but thanks for pointing that out as well