Halloween candy gripes

halloween just happened so i have a lot of left over candy from giving it out, and i got something to say about one specific type

these sour patch kids, tropical flavour, are ass


i hate them. i hate “sour” patch kids in general because, despite the name, they hardly have any sour flavour. they have just enough acid coated on them to make your teeth uncomfortably squeak and rub on each other when you chew them, but not enough to actually deserve being described as sour, let alone have it as the first word in their name. this is an issue with the base sour patch flavour, but it’s even worse with these tropical ones. a sour pineapple candy would be great, but there is literally not even a hint of sour in any of the flavours that come in this bag, they are just sweet gummies

anyway, gripe about any candy you hate too if you want

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I used my little sister as an excuse to go trick-or-treating for the last time, and it looks like the candy given out got smaller. The milk chocolate “share-size” Hershey’s was only one piece, and the white chocolate ones (which my older sister HATES) were only a little bigger.

i hate tootsie rolls

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I’m gonna hand out twizzlers and smarties to keep them away from me

Twizzlers are criminally overrated. They’re the only candy that actually has ZERO flavor whatsoever.

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I guarantee you most adults do not care how old the trick or treater is, and even if they do its not the end of the world, there are tons of other houses

these pieces shit
image


taste like straight cancer
if you down more than 2 of these per week i’m quite sure you will die

yea, that chocolate that makes your throat burn sucks, why do they even make it like that

i would never eat a twizzlers bro they’re just bad

The worst candy. Red Vine knockoffs that taste like candle wax & have the texture of rubber

boy do I have a gift for you

nobody came to our house at ALL, so we are stuck with this giant bin of mainly sour patch kids. I don’t even like these things.

candy corn is so ass
shit even
dogshit even
THE WORST
i dont even think my hatred of fish is as grand as my hatred for candy corn.
fuck candy corn.

ok have you ever tried putting them in a cup of water to dissolve all of the “sour” off of them to remove this horrible bad effect.
works wonders for 'em.

I like them both ways, myself, but my mouth does not.

ok but swedish fish is peak

you hate fish???

like all fish, or just some fish??

My gripes with candy in general:

  • They’re fat based
  • They’re infused with sugar
  • They usually are contained in far too many layers of plastic
  • They can get dirty easily
  • Cheese is superior

swedish fish are nice at least

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won’t they just be sweet then? if i’m grabbing something with sour in the name, i want something sour

yes but you end up with a near identical flavor except it doesn’t rip your tongue, teeth, and everything else in your mouth to ribbons.

If you really want something sour, the first thing that comes to my mind is warheads hard candies… and straight lemon juice.

Not sure if this counts a candy but an ice cream parlor near my house was serving an ice cream flavor that has real fucking insect parts inside of it as a halloween special. A bizarre amalgamation of matcha ice cream with mealworm and cricket bits inside of it… I am dead serious.

apparently, this isn’t even the worst of weird ice cream they’ve had on sale before.

ever wanted to eat smoked mac n’ cheese ice cream? no? well apparently neither did anyone on the staff team because I’ve heard it was one of the worst selling flavors in the time they’ve been open.