This reply you made touched my feeling and explain things I want to say but had no idea on how to put it to text, It felt like reading a well though out writing of someones dairy.
thank you for giving up all your times on this post, and may your journey to self acceptance will become an example for those who are in self hatred in the current day and future.
tbh im still dealing with it myself, when it comes to basic life things.
i guess the one thing that helps is truly, genuinely taking a step back to reflect on myself and how it isnt the end ofo the world just yet.
tho im getting kinda close.
another piece of wisdom from senior ( 22 ) forumer 
j accept what you cant change and try your best to change the things that you can.
smth i also learned while i was losing weight awhile back was that its not a great idea to try and rush the process nor is it good to think negatively about yourself while doing it.
appreciate the progress youve made in any situation, acknowledge when youve slumped and j get back up. it doesnt matter how slowly you progress as long as youre improving yourself in some way every day.
there are also plenty of ways to make yourself feel better like eating healthy, practicing meditation, exercising (i personally take long walks and meditation annoys me so i dont do it).
ofc there are obv hobbies like playing video games that some people are able to feel better from, but personally i feel like i waste time and am not doing anything productive so i leave stuff like that for at the end of the day after ive finished working/studying so that the activity is stress-free and more enjoyable.
overall j remember to self-reflect and acknowledge both the good and bad things that youve done while trying to maintain a positive attitude.
I feel this, I really do. I hate myself for procrastinating with meaningless drivel, but end up doing so nonetheless. Why do I care to watch videos on games I will never play? No idea, but I spend hours on end doing so anyways. I want to write, I want to draw, but I end up barely doing an hour and a half of each every day—if even that much.
spite and a mindset that you should live life to the fullest, it’s the only chance you get so you should try and have fun while you can
also thinking about stuff I do like and spending time on it and creating new things like it, mostly just me coming up with power systems and playing video games for the entire day every day but it helps
its very tricky, but being able to adopt a habit of working THEN playing makes it a lot easier to relax at the right times. i believe that its also a better way to maintain an increased and consistent amount of dopamine.
thats honestly why i dont understand the hate on working a 9-5. you j do the same thing every day and when you get home you can relax without worrying about any work that you gotta do lol
thats crazyyyyy