So, hello, welcome to my very much unconnected and AGGRESSIVE rambling about one pathethic lifeform that should NOT be existing on planet earth. I hate them, i think they should go extinct because they have no other use than to just be there, i guess- and worst of all, these things are NOT EXTINCT YET.
What am i talking about?
THESE FLAT FUCKS.
Sunfishes. Moonfishes when translated into germany which is its own set of bullshit- but they are so insanely fucking stupid and i hate them. Why is that?
First of all, flat as fuck. Fin is merged with the rest of their body which makes it, believe it or not, quite difficult to swim- and they need to swim. Why do they need to swim? To breathe, of course.
(also, if they sink too low, they just fucking die of the cold water down there)
Now, sunfishes aren’t extinct because of one interesting trait: their habits in reproducing. Specifically, the fact they lay LARGE amount of eggs. Incredibly large amounts at that- and so, some of the larvae that do not even LOOK like an adult sunfish (depicted below) will always survive to become adults, much to my seething hatred.
(talk about puberty)
Then, these things also just have a stupid looking skeleton. Incredibly stupid looking skeleton- and are also quite frankly bony. Don’t get me wrong, i greatly enjoy the concept of defense in such way, but again, i hate this fish because it exists. Never did something to me personally, but i want it to dissappear.
Sunfishes are often attacked by parasites en mass- and then come up to the surface. Why so? To lay on their side and to let birds eat said, of course. In short, they are a wandering cart for 5 star buffets for any seabird in a 2 mile radius, simply because parasites really love these slowpokes.
May i add that seals also sometimes just take a bite out of them?
And they cant exactly close their mouth?
Why can’t they be like morays? Those are cool!
But no, instead i have been displeased to learn about in biology.
Marine rant over. If you share similiar hatred for some other type of fish, you may ramble, as hatred for all fish is appreciated here.
Expect morays.
