I have been posting a lot about my fruitless Dark Sea expeditions lately, to the point where I was asked this question on my most recent post: “you good bro?”
The answer, I have decided, is no. No, I am not good, bro.
I will first go back to the beginning, and regale you on all my horrific failures in the last week or two. Then, I will explain the newest of my nightmares in the most accursed place in this already accursed game.
DARK SEA THE FIRST
It all began with a co-op run, wherein a friend and I had ventured out, hoping to get as much treasure from the Insanity 1 range as possible and return home. However, upon collecting treasure from a quite large volcanic island, we were returning to our brig, only to be confronted with the sight of a tornado, directly centered on our ship’s exact location.
Now, this would not be much issue, we would simply wait out the tornado’s duration in most cases. But this was not most cases. I had just become ailed by Water Poisoning, and there was not a roof to hide under for a very large distance. We were able to find some cover, but not before I was downed, and, as I was the owner of the brig, we knew we needed to return home quickly.
Unfortunately, that would not go well either. While I was climbing a ledge, I would be jumped by an Atlantean who would attack me relentlessly, and, with nowhere to run, all of my 1000 HP was gone within a mere second.
This was only the first failure of a run, and there were many more to come. The moral of the story is to always be prepared for the game to ruin everything, and to not risk anything that could end your entire run.
INSANITY THE SECOND
Another day, another Dark Sea expedition. This time, with two others; one, the previous friend, similarly at max Level, and the other, another friend with a much weaker account. Overall, however, we were confident. Last time, we had simply been unlucky. Surely, something so terrible would not again take place. With three of us, we felt up to the task of facing the Insanity 2 range of the Dark Sea.
This was perhaps the worst idea that we could ever have had. Instantly upon entering Insanity 2, we would be chased relentlessly by Atlantean Brigs, the Atlanteans on the islands would shred our HP, and all in all, we would get no loot whatsoever from our time in this range. We would not live for long, either.
The moral of the story is not to become overconfident (and not to go past Insanity 1, I suppose).
CONNECTION ISSUES THE THIRD
My most recent Dark Sea post told this story, though not in full detail. It was quite late in the night; nearly 4 in the AM, to be exact. I was alone for this journey, simply hoping to achieve the goal of collecting treasure, nothing more. I was doing quite well for myself, and eventually found myself up against an island of towering, bending spires, almost like fingers in their orientation; the towering rocks were some of the highest terrain I had ever seen in the Dark Sea, reaching far above the clouds, and so I would expect the highest peak to hold plenty of loot.
Unfortunately, I would find this to not be the case. This would not completely discourage me, though something else certainly would: I had lost my boat. Where was it? I did not know. Thankfully, with waterbreathing potions and enough dedication, I would circle the gigantic isle and eventually find my ship.
However, that would not be the end. No, instead, I would quickly realize I was unable to T-Jump. Unable to equip any items. Unable to look at my inventory. Unable to do anything, besides walking and climbing. Dreaded connection issues.
This went on for five minutes, until I was finally and completely disconnected from the server. The moral of this story is to get better internet, or something like that.
GAME ENGINE THE FOURTH
My underleveled friend had once again joined me for an expedition, in which we would collect dozens of Dark Sealed Chests. We had planned to do quite the long run, and fill our boat to the brim, and the run was very successful thus far. The boat had been filled with cargo, to the point where a bounty hunter actively refused to hunt me, instead relating to my struggle and leaving me be before the expedition.
This accursed game cannot allow me to rest easy, however. Indeed, I do not even have much in the way of setup for this horrific failure, for the failure itself had no prior setup.
There I was, manning the wheel of the brig, sailing through Insanity 1. Nothing out of the ordinary. An Atlantean Ketch was near us, but not threatening, and nowhere near touching us. But then, it happened.
I was launched. I had not left the wheel. I had not done anything at all. And yet I was launched. Across the sea, from Insanity 1, to Insanity 5, in a mere moment. I bled out, and it was over. The brig, gone. My compatriot, stranded. It was over.
There is no moral to thie story. Only suffering. Only misery.
LIGHTNING THE FIFTH
One final attempt to make up for the abhorrent game-induced failure of the last run. Insanity 1, yet again. Treasure was being gained at a rate unheard of until now, thanks to our usage of Revealing Potions, which we had only just now begun to realize the potential of. In time, we would have as much loot as the last run, but this time we would actually bring it back.
Or so we thought. The first misfortune came with a Light-wielding Atlantean blinding me and trapping me in a corner. It took an act of desperation to escape, and with only a few hundred HP to spare, it was a close call to be sure. But then, a few hundred HP became 0. Lightning. At the most inopportune time, lightning had struck me.
I was revived, yes, but now I was paranoid. Lightning could kill me at any time if my HP was low enough. It was all luck. So I did everything I could to minimize the chances. But my paranoia would ultimately be my downfall.
Another Atlantean, this time relying less on tricks and more on raw damage. Things were not looking good, thus I attempted to flee. But my mind had been preoccupied with avoiding lightning. This led to the greatest blunder of the century: pressing E instead of T. A weapon skill. One with nearly a second of animation lock. There was nothing to be done. 0 HP. It was over.
I am not even going to try make up a moral for this one. Skill issue.
CONCLUSION THE FINAL
The Dark Sea itself is my true rival. Not Frederick, the blathering fool with the Poison magic, but the magic-infused seawater of the eternal storm. It will drive my true self as mad as it does my in-game characters, and yet I will keep returning.
One day, I will have a truly successful run. One day, I will make the Dark Sea regret crossing my path. But for now, I weep. I weep for all the lost hours, for all the treasure sunken to the depths, for all my corpses littering the ocean floor.
These were not all my runs, some had been successful, nor even all my failed runs, but only those I felt significant enough to speak on.
That being said, there is also reason to be enthusiastic. These trips, while infuriating, have also been enjoyable. I find great fun in the journey, even if the destination is important as well.
This sucks why did I write this post
I’ll probably use this one to keep y’all updated on my failure cuz good lord this shit is pissing me off 
Anyway I gotta stream R.E.P.O. tomorrow I’m going to bed, see y’all in the morning
I need to write more