Ohhhh yeah, ohohohoho yeah, I actually did this to myself. I’m gonna make a rant so fucking long, detailing my experience with this fucking game, that I’m gonna possibly surpass the feats even Julie does on a typical basis. I typed this all up last night and sent it to some friends, now YOU GUYS get to see it too! So, get ready to read my nightmarish, horribly ripping-off of Josh Strife Hayes (In formatting and some things he often says) rant against this shitty game!
Part 1 - Starting Weak
… Okay, yeah. This one hurt to even try. So, I got onto my alt, started up on Da Hood, and I began to play, from scratch. Base money, no weapons, no gamepasses. And dear god… This would be an experience that fits the name of the game. First of all, I spawned right next to the bank. I can’t even say one thing before some rothot two shots me with a shotgun. First impressions with the community? This is a new low for “Streets” games. I’ve never seen a fresh spawn get attacked then and there even in games like The Streets and its cancelled sequel. However, some exploiter (I think? They brought me to somewhere that seemed elaborately made so maybe it was an admin?) brought me to safety high up on the map’s edge. So, once I got up there after waiting around 25 seconds to heal up to stand, before going down. First thing I found was the clinic, but most importantly, and ATM. So, I clicked the ATM to rob it- Nothing happened. I punched it, and nothing happened. Keep this in mind for later. Either way, I walked around, and then, oh hey the clinic lets you do a simple matching game to make small amounts of money! So I went to do that a bit, and then I went down the street, to the gym. Going back to the clinic minigame, it’s very bare-bones. No actual cohesion, no “join the job here!” indicator, just some stationary ROBLOXians acting like gmod ragdolls frozen upright with text over their heads, with the patient spawning in every so often after you gave them a pill from clicking a button with a decal on it on the wall. Yeah, I think you can tell where this is going…
Part 2 - The Strength Mechanic & Some Tidbits
So, while I was going to the gym I decided to do a punch combo and- jESUS FUCK WHAT IS THIS COMBO?! Animations feel all over the place, there’s no coherent combo, some animations just fucking repeat themselves sometimes when you attack again, and they feel both unrealistic and slow , not to mention they prevent jumping and slow your movement speed to a crawl- God, this combat already SUCKS! The same even happens with other melee weapons! I used a knife and I slowed to a crawl in one attack. How the FUCK do you aim an attack when you go to a 3 studs per second movement speed?! (Hardly a joke either, it got that slow). But enough about the shitty melee, let’s get to the gym, use some weights… Oh hey, someone’s here, and they’re… Using a fuckton of lettuce. Okay, wait… So, this game features a muscle building mechanic, use weights to increase your strength, and the lettuce… Lowers your muscle mass, what? That… How the fuck…? …Okay, stupid game logic aside… Somebody else walked in. I had a feeling they’d hit the other person with a two-shot from a shotgun like I did, but instead they began talking weird shit. Both of them had feminine avatars, so it’s safe to assume that they might’ve been what some people call “barbies”, especially with how they acted… So, the second one comes in, and says that using weights “makes u fat” and I went to correct her. She shot me with a shotgun for explaining something the FUCKING DESCRIPTION says. I didn’t die, but I ran off and she didn’t bother me. I hate to be the boomer here, but… Kids these days. Can’t stand being corrected.
Part 3 - The Issue With Money & The Community
Something I forgot in Part 2 about the strength system is that, just as I was about to leave, that girl who shot me mentioned that to max your strength out, you’d need to spend 13 hours or so clicking your mouse, with a weight in hand. I’m sorry… 13 hours? Just clicking an item with a 5-10 second animation? SERIOUSLY?! I’ve seen some dumb strength mechanics in other games, but this one takes the cake. …Okay actually, I lied, Mighty Combat is waaaay worse than this game, but at least that game gives you SOME insight to each stat, unlike this one. If I remember right the /e stats command doesn’t even work right. Either way, I decided to go around town to get some money… Uh… Yeah, I have no clue how to get money! I can’t rob any cash registers OR ATMs I find. Strange… So I keep searching, and I begin to take note of the community around me… You know those weirdos who aren’t rogangsters but also aren’t mature, normal people? The ones with the weird almost pastel yellowish-white skin tone, and they tend to cling to someone else like they’re in a relationship, especially with how they act to each other? They were EVERYWHERE and they kept shooting each other. Not me, each other. This kept happening, and then I got to the bank again, and this is where I found the issue with the money system… I learned that, to get money, you have to SHOOT THE ATMS AND CASH REGISTERS. Most guns cost 250+ dollars, and also disappear if you are killed, combat log (Even though the game doesn’t have a fucking combat tag. Yeah, if this game wasn’t already a shitty ripoff of The Streets already, it has combat logging WITHOUT a combat tag to tell you when it’s safe to leave), or you can lose them if you RUN OUT OF AMMO.
And this isn’t the end either. The community only gets worse, after I narrowly escape getting two-shot by the same girl with the shotgun. Everything else got explained in a later message (I posted the rant on Discord originally) so the parts got broken up here.
Part 4 - The Community (Continued)
Thought that Da Hood was already total dogshit in mechanics? The community is worse. I run around some more, trying to comprehend the map, and I FINALLY found the reason I was seeing others get shot but not me! Clans. Yes, this game has clans. Groups that compete to kill each other. I also noticed the house they were standing at was open, so I went in aaaand- Get shot. So I exit the place, and then they shoot me to death and stomp me. Right, right… I quit entering your house, with an open, unlocked door mind you, and you murder me. I was already suspicious this was my rather “noobish” clothing, consisting of the free green jersey and green pants, and the brown, free hair, with the generic Roblox smile. Why? These people in other games sometimes mock people for being “poor” from time to time, often before another person destroys them. Anyways, ready to cringe? I respawned, next to the gun store, so I check it out. …This store has poor design. The same shotgun is shown on display twice, under both it and the ammo selling buttons, and the pistols are shown for EVERYTHING ELSE. And once I finish looking around, a 100% rogangster tries shooting me through the glass. Okay, so… Glass doesn’t break when you… Shoot it. Bullets are just stopped. So she keeps trying to shoot me 5 times, before walking in and sending me below 30%. She then punched me, and stood on top of me. I called her a “typical rogangster” because everything about her outfit fit the bill. The clothes, the hat, the hair, the attitude, even the fucking skin tone of her avatar was just like those advertisements. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, well, the rogangster clothing is a bit too well known, and so is their attitude, but every damn rogangster has an olive skin tone on their avatar. I swear, 90% of the rogangsters you see probably aren’t people of color. (Now, before you butcher me for saying that, I’ve known some people talking about their friends who became “rogangsters” and changed their avatar to the olive skin tone with the clothes and the generic faces. Some of these people knew them IRL and actually clarified they were white as well. So… Yeah, take this next part with that knowledge.) And guess what she responded with? “Is it because I’m black”…
At this point if I was filming this like a video I’d go turn to the camera and stare for a second or two, and continue on. First of all, your character doesn’t look like they’re Black but rather they’re Hispanic, I’m sorry to say that, but they do. Second, a rogangster is defined by attitude and clothes, not skin color. Third, return to the part in parenthesis above. So, I tell her it’s the clothes. She acts like she’s gonna fight me once I get back up, so I decide I’ll see how practical melee is before leaving since I was already fairly tired of this bland game. Yeah, that was… Painful. Attacks slow you to a crawl, making aiming insanely hard when someone can flank you at full speed, and the worst part is that shiftlock is bound to the same key as your SPRINT. Now that’s just lazy design. Anyways, I got my ass beat by her and she was literally one hit to dying. Then she called me “racist” and stomped on me. Just a reminder I clarified to her that I called her a rogangster about the attributes besides the skin tone, and she still said that, when she was also acting like she was going to keep hitting me. At this point, I took in that series of events, and I realized why she, the girl in the bank, and the two people outside of the house shot me without any prior provokation or good reason to continue: I looked like what they would call a “poor person”. Having had enough of the bullshit this game throws at you with its shitty mechanics, bland map, and also just knowing I won’t get to see anything else without dumping time into the hellhole this game is, I left.
Part 5 - Final Thoughts.
Da Hood is outright awful. My FUCKING god it’s awful. Most of the noise you hear is bypassed audio awful. The mechanics are a straight up rip from The Streets but somehow made WORSE, the community is EVEN WORSE than The Streets, and may nearly rival that of Rogue Lineage. Yes, that’s a very high bar to hit, but I’ll bet they bypass the fuck out of the chat filter. Da Hood is SO BAD I can name CLONES of it that are better! If you want a good game which has the strength mechanics of Da Hood, go play Da City. That’s not a joke, it’s effectively a ripoff of Da Hood, but it’s ACTUALLY BETTER IN EVERY WAY. Seriously, I tried to find a way it was worse and it wasn’t somehow. I wanted to play every Streets style game I could to write about how shit they could be, but games like The Streets 2, Mighty Combat, and Da City were actually… Fun.
Da Hood was the singular one that made me want to die. Mighty Combat is anime themed and dead, and while it has a grindier system with more stats, it also has a lot of heart put into it (Even though they dev quit on it). Da City is a bit buggy, but it’s also a new release, and it’s actually fun. The Streets 2 is almost dead, but it’s very solid and quite playable, also featuring permanent guns. I only have an issue with Da Hood for being the bottom of the fucking bin.
Yep. I went and I fucking did it. I played hell, wrote a rant about it, and pasted it to the forums.
Am I insane? Yes I am. Have I gone beyond even what Julie would do? Maybe? Is Julie going to kill me for possibly besting her, or getting close?
…Yeah probably.
I will make another, more pointless subject than this
