“Therapists” Entry 2:
The client’s name is ‘Lord Elius’. Once again, he refuses to tell me his full name, so I will refer to him as Mr. Elius. According to him, he keeps having hallucinations of him dying in an increasingly more horrifying way. I decided to let him tell me some of his hallucinations before I give him a solution.
“… You… want me to remember?”, he says.
“Mr. Elius, please calm down. Try and recollect your dreams, if you don’t, how will I be able to help you?”
“I refuse! Some commoner won’t make me relive the pain!!”, says Mr. Elius. Thunder begins swarming around him.
“Mr. Elius, please don’t make me restrain you. I’m sure you know how business goes with ‘Magic-Able Clients’.”
He falls silent, and nods his head.
“I will tell you how I died only three times. I don’t want to remember all of them… so here I go.”
I prepare my notebook, and my syringe.
I think I’ll start at the beginning, common doctor. When it all started.
That ‘day’ it was business as usual. I had set up camp in the Skylands. I hit on some of my female underlings. Made a few of them make me a sandwich. It was great. The sandwich, I mean.
The day was going horrible. Not only did my underlings find other members of the Order, dead, but there was a sighting of a powerful mage who was on my tail.
Now, I’m not saying I’m weak… but that mage was freakishly strong. I sent 3 of my most powerful Order members to investigate them, but they never returned. I could only assume the worst.
However, what I had assumed was not even the worst outcome possible. What I had assumed was they would kill our weaklings and leave. I didn’t think they would ACTIVELY SEARCH FOR ME.
One day, I was sleeping in my dome when I heard an explosion outside. Before I could investigate, I saw a man covered in Magma walking towards me.
“…Heh. So you’re the one who’s been causing trouble, messing with my plans? I’ll make this quick.”
Hah. Hahaha… HAHHAHAHAHA!
You know what that Magma Mage bastard said? You wanna know what he did in response to me?
“Ultimate Art…”
“…And after that, I blacked out. I blacked out, only to wake up again in the same dome.”
Hm. The client is sweating profusely.
“Even worse, the mage that killed me… WAS A WOMAN! I got offed by a woman…”
It appears that the pain of death is worsened due to being killed by the opposite sex. Perhaps we should give him some sort of rehabilitation? After the session, I’ll recommend a ‘class’ to him.
“I suppose I should continue to the next one. Say, common doctor, you’re awfully quiet. Don’t you have anything to say?”
I continue to write notes in my notebook.
“Please, Mr. Elius, continue.”
Curious. However, I do wish to get this over with as soon as possible. My head is starting to hurt…
The next time I woke up in my dome, with a pie in front of me. It had a note saying it was from my wife. The most peculiar thing about that is that I don’t have a wife. Many girlfriends, sure, but a wife?
I had forgotten what had happened before. Or maybe I just wrote it off as one very bad, bad dream.
Hah. I probably should have run away right then.
“Ugh, he never hands over his drops when I want him too. Just give me the scimitars already…”
I quickly turned around, and I saw a woman holding four guns, one flintlock, a musket, and two other flintlocks on her back.
“…Why so many guns?”, I say.
The woman looks at me surprised.
“Huh? New dialogue? That’s cool. Maybe it’s a shadow update…”, she says, loading her musket.
I take quick notice of this, and prepare to fight.
“So it was you who caused all that ruckus-”, was what I was beginning to say, but she had already shot me three times in the forehead.
I do wish that would have been the end of it… but she had to finish me off in the most humiliating way possible! She stripped me of my clothes and my weapons, wore my clothes, and removed my head from my body.
“Woah, lucky!”
The sound of Mr. Elius vomiting echoed throughout my office. I injected him with the syringe.
-10 minutes later-
“Common doctor, I cannot go on!”, Mr. Elius says.
“You appointed for a 3 hour session. We still have 30 minutes left.”
“…You say you are a therapist, but all you are doing is making this situation much worse! I wish to erase these memories, not resurface them!”
The client is getting too noisy.
“Do you care for your sisters life?”
“Huh?”, says Mr. Elius.
Hm. Maybe that’s not such a good idea.
“Nevermind. Please, carry on.”
“No! I just told you I don’t want to resurface these memories! Take the galleons, I am leaving!”, he says, flaring up his lightning magic.
Suddenly, one of the Acolyte- I mean, scientists, bursts through the door.
“Sir! We need to get you out of here as soon as we possibly can!”, says the scientist.
“Hm? What’s going on?”, I reply.
“A huge meteor-like object is pulsing into the base! We suspect it’s an Earth mage… so we need to get out of here as soon as possible!”
An Earth mage…? If one of those stumbles upon our operation, surely we will die.
“What’s happening?”, asks Mr. Elius, grabbing my arm. “What’s all this about an Earth mage?”
“…All I can say to you, is good luck. Adios.”, I answer. Suddenly, a huge rock crashes through the room, crushing Mr. Elius into a pulp, literally.
“Teleport us quickly!”, I yell.
As we teleport away, I notice that the entire island has been leveled.
We’re gonna have to do something about these mages…
Lord Elius wakes up back in his usual dome, with the usual pretty woman and annoying underlings.
“…Huh?”
“No… NO! NOT AGAIN! NOO!”, he yells.
At that moment, an enemy stumbles upon his dome.
“Alright youtube, today I’m gonna showcase my 1500 damage Metal mage build! Our test subject is- Lord Elius!”
“W-What kind of nonsense are you spewing right now?”, says Lord Elius.
“Okay! Ultimate Art…”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
…
…
“Hm. Maybe he was on to something.”, I say.
“What do you mean, sir?”
“You know, Lord Elius. Oh well. Whatever stories he could have told us are long gone now. With the insurrection of the mysterious beings known as players that are slowly being introduced to our world, who knows. He could definitely had some good information. So far, we know that they can use ultimate arts, special spell scrolls, and ‘half-arcanium-weapons’.”
The acolyte rummages in his bag.
“We have an appointment with King Calvus, in a few months.”
Ah, right. King Calvus. He still isn’t dead yet, huh?