Marcos Sandrovoca's Big Problem: Paint it Blue!

Marcos Sandrovoca's Big Problem: Business a Go Go?

I’m almost 100% sure I heard somewhere, “Bitches Love Cannons”. I don’t really think of Adjutori that way, but hey, it won’t hurt to give her a cannon, will it?

So, I gave her a cannon. And you know what the first thing she did was?

She blew up my ship!

“Boss, I really am sorry. Can’t ya forgive me?”, said Adjutori.

“Hell no! You stranded us! We’re sitting here like ducks in a pond, Adjutori! Like ducks in a pond!”

Adjutori’s face drops. I guess it’s my fault for giving her a cannon. Never give a woman a cannon.

Hell, where the hell are we? I take this moment to look around at my surroundings.

“Ah. Shit.”, I say, under my breath.

Adjutori looks up at me quizzically. “Boss? What’s up?”

“Hah… welcome to Ravenna.”

You see, me and the big boss of Ravenna don’t have the… greatest history. In short, I kind of scammed him. And that “immortal” bastard isn’t the type to forgive, not talk of forget.

And honestly… I’m not really fond of the thought of me getting turned into a pile of
ashes. I’m too old for that!

“Adjutori, we need to get the hell out of here as soon as we possibly can.”, I say, hurriedly dusting myself off.

“BOSS!”, Adjutori yells, pushing me to the ground. Suddenly, a huge crystal shard slams straight into her chest.

Damn! I actually liked Adjutori-

“Boss, we gotta get out of here!”, says Adjutori as she grabs my arm and tries to drag me out of the fray.

Oh. I forget how hard skinned she is.

“Where do you think you are going?”, says an incredibly pompous, babied, annoyingly berative voice. I’d know that voice from anywhere.

“Ah… Ms. Cassenia. Your still single, aren’t you?”

“Cut the crap, Sandrovoca. What are you doing here?”, says Dame Cassenia.

“You know, I’d really like to figure that one out, too.”, I say, jabbing at Adjutori’s shoulder.

Adjutori promptly unsheaths her sword and tosses a dagger from out of nowhere straight into one of the Ensigns head. She swings her sword aiming to decapitate Cassenia, but Cassenia quickly grabs her Musket to block it.

“ADJUTORI WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!?”, I yell.

“You gave me the signal…?”, says Adjutori.

“I WAS POINTING OUT THAT YOU WERE THE ONE WHO BROUGHT THIS PROBLEM ONTO MY HEAD! My gosh Adjutori… you didn’t have to fucking murder him!”

“Ah… sorry Boss.”, says Adjutori, as she sheaths her sword.

“…What? You don’t think I’m actually going to let you go after you killed my Ensign?”, says Cassenia.

We fall silent, Adjutori, me, Cassenia, and the dead Ensign.

“Well, isn’t this a shitty situation.”, I say.
I have to admit, it was a pretty shitty situation.

“Are you dead?”

I struggle to open my mouth. Mostly because I took so long to answer that Randal just decided to hook kicked me in the face.

Knockout.

You’re doing great so far. But uh, cut out the “I just learned how to swear” part.

Yeah, one can tell great stories without needing to sound edgy. e.g.: whatever books I was reading from 4th-8th grade.