Not from a napalm airstrike! (I got no idea who The Quest Sprout is)
As for defense - I need something truly unbreakable. Vetex’s determination
I attack with Roblox taking the game down
My defense is an uno reverse card
Another reverse card
Pelion rift
Rain over the course of 8000 years
A pound of feathers and a pound of steel
the indomitable human spirit
Whatever thing is the reason why the Uncanny Valley is a thing in humans will overcome that, surely.
(And if that was just meant to overcome the pounds of feathers and steel, you forgot to put your own defense)
The River Lethe, which removes recognition and memory from all those who touch its’ waters (or was it only those who drink it? I forgot) will surely have people forget they were trying to attack me in the first place.
Water purifier
I will attack past your sad emojis using my callous disregard for other human’s feelings.
My defence will be a 1960 Ford Anglia 105e, and I will be situated in the driver’s seat.
Drunk truck driver
Nat 20 on seduction
Attack: Industrial accident, 50 tons of gaseous styrene explodes due to a static arc during transport (unaffected by love or bias).
Defence: Trapped in a tight rock crevice 50 meters under a granite formation, Nutty Putty style.
The attack which turned winterveil capital into akursius keep
Ultra instinct
Shaggy Rogers (doesn’t need Ultra Instinct)
Netherite Armor (Enchanted with Protection V)
Godzilla in hell’s Godzilla
Nat 20 on death save
You get hit by a spell of kills you, no saving throw.
Plot Armor will definitely protect me, right?
You die in the next part of the story, canonically
100 innocents
Anonymous tip to the US government that the 100 innocents are a cover for a nuclear weapons program.
Plot armour, due to being alive in the sequel that chronologically came out first.
A fire burns the script and the writer decides to remove you from the story entirely and replace you with Bob
I have a contract that allows me to sue if I’m removed or killed off in the story
Command word kill.
Arcanium sword imbued with divine spirit and shatter magic of doom and despair.
Mistral Update item wipe
.34 caliber shotgun
Attack: The combined wrath of a Stryker M1128 MGS (M68A2 105mm main gun, M240C machine gun coaxial, M2 Browning, as well as all round protection rated up to 14x114mm). (By the way that shotgun is apparently equal to 118 gauge, note that Gauge numbers are smaller if the bore diameter is larger).
Defence: Coughing baby