Look, kid. It ain’t criminal, it’s business.
My name is Marcos Sandrovoca. I run a marketable plushy business. Yeah, I know what your thinking. Marketable plushies? Seriously? Shut the hell up. You see, my plushies are special.
It’s as if… they’re real.
Hah… just thinking about it puts a sly grin on my face. If you wanna get into the business, your gonna have to learn how to make these plushies. But before that, I ought to set some ground rules.
- First, make sure nobody’s following you. I’d prefer you all not to have a criminal record. I don’t want the cursed Gravy on my ass.
- You’ll probably already know how to shoot a gun. Don’t worry, you don’t have to kill anyone. Hehe… right.
- And last… if I catch you tryna backstab me, bamboozle me, I’ll kill everyone you love. Even your dog. Even your hamster. Even your computer you use to play Arcane Odyssey. All of them, gone. And then, I’ll kill you slowly. Cutting off each and every one of your limbs, one by one.
Don’t you dare try to betray me.
Awright, let’s get into it. Now, in order to “make” these Marketable Plushies, you’ll need a couple things.
The Company will give you a list of targets. Your job is to get them. We’d appreciate if you don’t kill them, because if the Company has chosen someone, it means they are prime subjects. Marketable, some may say.
Once you nab your target, bring them to base. We’ll handle the rest. Badabing, bada boom, you just made your first hit- I mean, Marketable Plushy. (Can somebody cut that out? Don’t want the noobies getting the wrong idea…)
After nabbing a couple of our targets, next, we’ll give you a straight up guide on how to turn someone into a Marketable Plushy. We’ll give you a flintlock, a rifle, and a musket. Shooting someone with these weapons will turn them into Marketable Plushies. But make no mistake, don’t get comfy cuz’ you got a gun.
And don’t even think about using it on one of the officials. That includes me.
Shooting a colleague will result in the aforementioned demise.
Now, after shooting the target, restrain them, and then bring them back to base. Oh, and don’t let your guard down. Believe me, they aren’t dead.
Not even in the slightest.
We’ll pay you… handsomely for each completed job. It varies, but the lowest you’ll be getting paid is 5,000 Galleons. Beautiful currency, really. Don’t worry about us not being able to pay.
We get a lot of business, after all.
That concludes your “Marketable Tutorial”. If you’ve got any questions, make sure not to ask them or we’ll kill you. Stay safe, don’t be a rat, and make us some money!
