[SERIES] Dawn Raiders Chapter 2 Part 1

“Come on hurry up!” Kaye shouts as Mel runs towards him. “I know, I’m trying. how are you so fast?” She says in response. “Just training from a friend. He was a cool person.” Kaye says. “Umm, hey. we’re reaching the ruins of Charon. it’s dangerous there. we should avoid it.” Mel says in concern. “No. That’s where we are heading.” Kaye replies. After reaching The ruins a Charon, they see a blast of fire that knocked back a bandit into a pile of rubble. “Multi fire blasts!” A stranger shouts, knocking another bandit into a pile of ash. “And now you.” The stranger says, facing the other bandit. the bandits look at him in horror and attempt to run away, only to be hit in the back of the head with the strangers’ staff. “I think we should go. this doesn’t involve-” “Hey! Xan!” Kaye shouts, cutting Mel off. “It’s been a while!” He says. “Master, what a pleasant surprise,” Xan says in reply. Xan looks behind him and asks “Who’s that person behind you?” “She’s my Guild mate!” Kaye replies. “Hi! I am Mel. wow! it’s really hot here!” Mel says as she takes off her jacket and ties it around her waist, revealing a necklace hidden in her jacket pocket. “What’s that?” Xan asks. “Oh, it’s my sister’s necklace. My mother gave it to her and she gave it to me.” Mel replied. "Interesting, but shouldn’t have your sister have given it to her daughter?“Xan asked. Mel didn’t answer that question. “Ah, I see.” He says. Hey, I think we should get going.” Kaye says. “But before that, hey Kaye, I think you would have wanted to have this.” Xan pulls out a spear and Kaye’s eye’s focus on the spear. “You… found it… thanks!” Kaye says. “No problem. let’s get going.” Xan says. All 3 of them walk out of the ruins of Charon.

3 hours later, as they are crossing over Lake Argestes, they get cut off by a wizard. “HEY! REMEMBER ME! YOU BLASTED ME INTO A PILE OF ASH NOW FEEL MY WRATH ON THE BEHALF OF THE MINOTA-” Kaye cuts him off by hitting him in the face with the bottom of his spear, knocking his tooth out. “Shut up… are you still stick on that? that was like 3 hours ago.” Xan says. “Keep acting cocky, because this time I came with stronger backup.” He responded Before Kaye, Xan, and Mel can respond, a giant Axe is thrown their way. “YOHOHO!” Someone shouts, walking out from behind a tree. his footsteps were louder than a stampede. “So a brat like you was the one who dared to offend my forces. Will, now it’s time for me to crush you!” The figure says as he is revealed to be the Minotaur. Part of the Old sea Vikings, and leader of a dangerous group of bandits. In shock, Kaye, Mel, and Xan stand still but moved again when the Minotaur charged by them and picked up his trusty ax, Vastira. “It’s- it’s him! The one who destroyed Umber Keep!” Xan says, frightened. “That was child’s play, I’m going all out now!” The Minotaur responds. “Kaye, we should retreat before he crushes us!” Mel says to a frozen Kaye. Kaye finally opens his mouth and says "No, we’re staying and fighting. “But-” "WERE STAYING! Were not letting him destroy this place too. he’s caused enough damage already! today, we will wipe a threat from this world! Come on! Kaye shouts at them. "YOU IDIOT! THAT’S SUICIDE! THERE IS NO WAY- "Kaye cuts him off. “So you’re cowering out now?! There is one lesson I want you to memorize for ALL OF YOUR LIFE! NEVER STOP FOR YOUR OWN WELL BEING WHEN OTHERS ARE AT STAKE!” Kaye says. “Almighty Crash!” The Minotaur shouts as he slams his ax to the ground. “So? are you with me or not?” Kaye asks. “… Fine… let’s get him” “Sure I’m in.” Xan and Mel say
“Finally done bickering? it’s time to die!” The Minotaur says as he charges towards All 3 of them. they jump out of the way just in time. “We won’t stand idle by, it’s time to fight Minotaur!” Kaye shouts as he jumps toward him. "But first, here is a little surprise

Shadow Magic: Ethereal Dark Arm!"

Hey everyone, sorry for the long wait. Chapter 2 will be released later.
As always, Takia! ;w;

4 Likes

Woah so many likes, might post chapter 2 in a bit

no offense but please for the love of god just get grammarly, its really hard to enjoy the writing when there are so many blaring grammar mistakes

If i can find grammarly

1 Like

thank you

got it downloading, will post chapter 2 in a bit

How the heck does this work :fr:

Personal advice: Either format it here or post a link to where you typed it up. It looks like you just copypasted it from google docs or something, and that messes up the formatting.
If you did format it here, some general rules:
Dialogue is it’s own paragraph. Example:

…the tavern was filled with bandits and dark wizards.
“I never like meeting here,” Talia said.
“Well I’m the one who decides where we meet,” Adrian responded. He looked around, trying to figure out what she didn’t like about the place.

See how the dialogue starts with a new sentence? Usually I would put an indent in but the text editor here doesn’t support that (one of the many reasons I personally use separate pdfs, which I host online).

Remember to use basic grammar rules as well, grammarly might be necessary but I personally hate the thing.

2 Likes

i personally just use grammarly for redundancy issues and the occassional dialogue mishap. other than that it’s just simple english.

How does it work though, is it automatic?

if you press the green g a list of issues will come up based on what you type; red = spelling/grammar, blue = redundancy, and more.

K working on it right now, hope for the best