[Short Story] Afterlife Spectators (It's my first ever piece, so feedback is greatly appreciated)

In the heavenly realm of the afterlife, high above the mortal islands of the chaotic Bronze Sea, two notorious spirits, Falcon and Cooke, found themselves engaged in a rather unusual conversation. Despite their fearsome reputations as the most feared criminals in the Bronze Sea, they had an uncanny ability to bicker and banter like an old married couple.

“Falcon, old buddy, did you ever imagine we’d end up here? In the afterlife” Cooke asked, his translucent form flickering with a teasing grin.

Falcon, a spirit with a short temper and a charismatic demeanor, shot Cooke a sidelong glance and frowned. “Well, if I had known that you were going to get us caught, I might have thought twice about murder in the walls of Silverhold.”

Cooke rolled his eyes—or at least the ghostly equivalent of rolling one’s eyes. “Oh please, Falcon. You’re just sore because I saved you from being sliced into pieces by Commodore Kai.”

“Ah, yes,” Falcon said with mock exasperation. "I remember that time, your fire magic TOTALLY melted his sword. It was DEFINITELY not my magma magic.

As they watched the scene unfolding in front of Mayor Tilly’s house, Falcon’s attention was drawn to the cheerful young woman wearing teal who seemed to revel in the morbid event. “Man, I hate that woman,” he grumbled. “I saved her from the freaking kidnappers in the town of Tiberia when she was visiting the Ravenna Kingdom. Yet this is how she repays me: by gleefully watching over my execution!”

Cooke chuckled softly, his voice echoing through afterlife air. “Well, isn’t that just karma for you? Perhaps you should’ve considered the consequences of your actions before going on that plundering spree. But the rumors surrounding Tilly being a psychopathic demon in her heart is certainly intriguing. I mean, why else would she order ALL the executions to be in front of her balcony?”

Falcon huffed and crossed his arms. “You know, sometimes I wonder if you’ve got a point hidden somewhere beneath that mass of curls you call hair.”

Outside, the execution continued with grim precision. Falcon and Cooke watched as another criminal, Blankenship, met his unfortunate end. Falcon’s eyes widened in recognition. “Wait, that’s my rival!” he exclaimed. “We would train together and attempt to overpass each other each time!”

“Er… why?” Cooke questioned.

“He was probably one of the most skilled swordsman that I have ever known!” Falcon marveled . He tore down TEN Grand Navy Ketches with one slice of his Katana. I didn’t think I even saw it happen! I had to train with him."

The gruesome scene unfolded before their eyes, the spears of the executioners puncturing Blankenship’s heart with DEADLY accuracy. Blood spattered around and the gathered crowd scattered to find shelter, and some landed on Mayor Tilly. What happened next sent a chill down Falcon’s incorporeal spine. Mayor Tilly turned around, her face hidden the crowd, and with a strangely sinister delight, she dipped a finger into the blood that was dripping down her shirt, licked it, and smiled. Her expression was one of perverse satisfaction, as if the execution had stirred something dark within her.

Falcon recoiled, a mixture of horror and disbelief etched on his translucent features. “She just licked his blood!” he exclaimed. “If that’s not the behavior of a psychopath, then I don’t know what is!”

Cooke’s typically jocular demeanor faded, and was replaced by a worried and concerned expression. “Falcon, do you ever think that maybe our crimes, as terrible as they were, were pale in comparison to the darkness that might be lurking within someone like Mayor Tilly? Just think about it.”

Falcon sighed, his spectral form flickering slightly. “I suppose we’re no saints or saviours, Cooke. We took lives and caused chaos without a second thought. But… but imagine if Mayor Tilly was a criminal! The entire population of the Bronze Sea would be slowly disappearing one-by-one!”

Cooke shuddered at the thought, the implications sinking in. “God, Falcon, you’re right. It’s terrifying to think about. Now I wish I didn’t ask.”

As they floated there, observing the unfolding drama in Palo Town, their dynamic shifted. Falcon and Cooke, the fearsome criminals who had once been the terror of the Bronze Sea, found themselves contemplating the nature of their own misdeeds and the darkness that resided within others. The afterlife had a way of reshaping perspectives, even for spirits as hardened as these two.

In the heavens above, where the boundaries between life, death, and morality blurred, Falcon and Cooke took a break from their usual bouts of training, since there was an arena. Instead, they watched over Palo Town, not just as observers but as ethereal beings contemplating the mysteries of existence, both mortal and spiritual. And in doing so, they discovered that even the most notorious criminals can find moments of contemplation and unexpected laughter, even in the place where the dead would reside.

4 Likes

tilly was a bit silly that day dont be mad at her

Hmm… Perhaps. I’m surprised that someone actually read mine, I thought no one cared about the writing group. So thank you so much.

i drop by everynow and then

for your first its pretty good btw

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Thanks. I truly appreciate it.

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You guys dont like taste of blood?

Uh…

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Noice

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Thanks. I’m glad people actually read these.

tilly felt a bit silly