i’ll check this again later but can someone throw arcane odyssey’s story beats so far to me my brain is hazy and i’ll let someone else do the work of figuring it out for me
why do you have those saved. where did they come from
YOU WAKE UP!
Morden, where in the gotdamn hell are we?
You go to Redwake and kill pillagers!!!
You’re attacked by a Japanese introvert and beat him up!
You go to Frostmill to tell some guy from Redwake to go home.
The mayor says that the wizards knows that global warming is actually just a redhead!
You attack the redhead, and she falls madly in love with you but won’t say it!
You go to a mountain to follow your true love.
You meet a dude named Ren who tells you that he will literally murder you if You come back without evidence of gang violence.
You meet the gang, and Ren tells you that they’re called the Order of Aesir.
You know what that means!
You beat up a mob boss with TWO SWORDS. The sheer power of his two swords is enough to make 90% of players ragequit!
You leave and go fishing with a guy for two hours, he proceeds to get on your ship and glue his feet next to the steering wheel.
You go a surprisingly far distance and meet Morden again, say hello!
(Oops, you softlocked yourself on his dialogue. Ha ha ha!)
A drunk man tells you that the fort has a door, so you and Morden decide to go beat up the people inside the fort.
You defeat another mob boss and make the Mafia of Aesir really angry at you.
You go to a forest and meet a guy who’s dad is a DIFFERENT crime boss!
You defeat another mob boss from the Mob of Greenwish.
You go to a police station and steal evidence for a crime, making your fisherman friend gain the courage to unglue himself from your ship’s deck to put on a different pair of clothes.
You go to Alburquerque, attack a citizen in an empty field, and get incarcerated by a window.
You lose the ability to run, and Morden, the redhead, the fisher guy, and some hot guy you’ve never seen before, repair your legs and break you out of prison.
You kill a monarch, and it turns out that he was part of the mafia!
You pick up a group of three homeless men who perform mitosis and fill your entire ship’s crew. They proceed to force you to attack their former co-workers for no reason.
That Ren guy shows up and reveals that he forgot the first three letters of his name, and you inspired him to remember them! He informs you that his name is Warren and dedicates his life to you.
You go to a mountain and talk to your grandpa’s dad’s uncle’s best friend, who proceeds to make you powerful and die.
Warren informs you that there is a war going on now because of you, and you have to go fix it for him to return the favor for telling you to go meet your grandpa’s dad’s uncle’s best friend.
The random hot guy leaves your gang.
You get captured by pirates who live on land, making you question their status as pirates, and instantly killing them!
But one of the pirates gained complete invulnerability and started shooting you with squirt guns!
You and the gang narrowly escape with your lives and go to Sameria to do what Warren made you feel obligated to do.
The (drag) queen tells you that punishment for breaking into the palace is being sent to Port Mistral, their prison island filled with actors, but the actors were attacked in the heat of war!
You are about to be attacked by Vikings, but they politely wait for you to leave before coming after you!
Now you must go to Skylanders and serve your prison sentence with a bunch of racists!
a guy with dementia, an emo and an angry red head destabilize the roman government before teaming up with the arabs to fight vikings
2 Likes
Mods permaban him now 
!!!
The word “im” refers to oneself, meaning that Deron would like to be band.
Wut does band mean
Arcane Odyssey Twitter. They might be on the Discord, but I’m not sure.
thanks logang i feel knowledgeable now can’t wait for the story to keep going
You wake up on an island after being knocked unconscious and with no memory of previous event, only to find a person who just finished burying a corpse who tells you you are best friends and that you escaped from Unit 731, gives you weapons and sends you into a port town full of people who want to murder you.
2 hobos and an orphan start an arcane odyssey to Big Rock Candy Mountains
An amnesiac, emo and firegirl (no water girl for some reason) go on an adventure, shenanigans ensue
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Part 1: Hobo Awakens, beats up Ronin and random girl for pollution and global warming respectively
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Part 2: Hobo follows random girl from earlier and helps them for no reason. Learns of Order of Magic Non-Hobos seeking to expand the power of magic, doesn’t like them, beats up noble trying to become part of Order of Magic Non-Hobos. Regroups and parts with random girl.
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Part 3: Finds friend, friend and hobo infiltrate military fortress. Friend leaves to find cube, Hobo kills renown General of Ravenna Military and dips.
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Part 4: Hobo goes to Ravenna, heart of the territory they just wreaked untold havoc to one of their fortresses not seen in decades… Then looks into kidnapping for no reason, finds out their oopsie is now public, and while on the run beats up noble from earlier’s sister. Keeps running to the highest point like a dumb hobo before getting 1 shot by fragile Homelander. Saved by friends from yearning for the mines a few months later or something; before committing regicide and escaping with friends.
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Part 5: Hobo achieves enlightenment and power from god.
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Part 6: Hobo ship gets speared and beats up random pirate lady in front of her entire crew.
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Part 7: Hobo goes with friends to Sameria and prepares/warns an entire government for war against an invading army before it arrives. Hobo then joins in the battle and defeats an initial invasion force.
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Part 8: Hobo might go to sky island to ask (potential) racists for help.
Murder