The Battle of Brisbane: The Goofiest Battle in WW2 (History class)


Hello class! And welcome to another history lesson, taught by yours truly. Today, we’re going to be covering one of the most weird, goofy and if not crazy battles in all of ww2: The Battle of Brisbane. It’s a small, miscellaneous event, but I believed it is often overshadowed by the events around it.

Let’s start things off by winding things back a small bit. It’s 1942. the USA and Australia are in a military alliance with each other, fighting northwards against the Japanese Empire to liberate the lands in the pacific campaign.

Naturally, due to geographical positions, American troops (G.Is) were to be stationed in Australia. Most of these troops were heavily concentrated in the town of Brisbane (which is the capital of Queensland today)

Now, at first the Americans were widely accepted in Brisbane society. However, as time went on, the tomfoolery and incompetence of the American soldiers began to irritate the Australian populace.

In fact, it was the Australian soldiers themselves that would be first develop a deep resentment towards the Americans.

Whilst the two nation’s soldiers may have fought side by side in war, back in Brisbane, the two were more than willing to square up and throw arms with each other. Why? Well, the soldiers of both sides more often than not found themselves fighting over stuff like resources, food, ammunition and so forth.

However! There was something that they were absolutely willing to fight each other to the death for: The local women.

Let me sum it up for you. Most Australians got very envious of the Americans soldiers because:

THE AMERICAN SOLDIERS HAD MUCH MORE SUCCESS IN ATTRACTING THE LOCAL WOMEN IN AN AUSTRALIAN TOWN THAN THE AUSTRALIANS DID THEMSELVES.

I’m gonna speed things up a bit.

Things escalated and one night a drunk American soldier became friends with three drunk Aussie soldiers. Some military police tried to arrest the American soldiers but the Aussies said “hell nah!” and started to fight. (GOES TO SHOW THE WILD AUSSIE SPIRIT RAAAHHHHH!)

This became a full blown riot that lasted hours and lead to multiple injuries and death.

Obviously it was much more complex than that but I’m a bit tired and I kind of lost motivation writing this halfway through.

In fact this video basically sums it up:

TL;DR: The American soldiers had too much rizz to a point where they could attract more Aussie women than the Aussies could themselves and they fought and injured each other in a riot.

Thanks for coming to my history lesson. Bye.

4 Likes

thank you for this history lesson :pray:

Do the HMAS Melbourne next

man were they that desperate for girls and rizz :sob:

how horny could you be???

Hmm, I’ll have to research about that. I don’t know too much about it. And also I only wrote about this because it was funny.

As it turns out, being in war makes a soldier yearn for women fr fr. So yes.

probably because you dont see women often during wartime or you see boys so often

I’m just mad that americans have more rizz than us aussies.

IN AUSTRALIA

Just goes to show Mericans being the best of the best :eagle::eagle::eagle:The world belongs to America :eagle::us_outlying_islands::earth_americas::earth_africa::earth_asia::us_outlying_islands::eagle:

WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER :eagle::eagle::eagle::eagle: GRAHHHHH :us: :us: :us: :us:

we also got beaten by emus as well :sob: :sob:

Yeah, you better cover the Emu War. :joy:

aussies trying to get their military taken seriously when the emu war exists:

Pretty sure China’s training vehicles alone outnumber our military 10 to 1…

forget vehicles mate, each aussie soldier has to face about 100 soldiers or something if we fight.

on the other hand every enemy soldier will have to face off against some freaky ass spiders, its a fair playing field in a defensive battle

“If we had a military division with the bullet-carrying capacity of these birds, it would face any army in the world. They could face machine guns with the invulnerability of tanks.”

-Major Meredith on Emus.

“10 bullets per kill” why did the birds need to be so tanky :sob: