Hey, so I thought that I could rewrite the main story by adding more lines, and having them talk like they would back in the time period the game is set in. If you want to look at the progress here is the draft:
Arcane Odyssey
Game Made By Vetex
Document Made By BigRed Studios
Chapter 1: Wake Up
I wake up with sand in my mouth, eyes, ears, and other places that sand shouldn’t be in. It’s a struggle to get up, but I eventually do. I find myself on a beach, heavy downpour of rain and lightning that’s strangely close to the island. I have no memory of how I got here, or why I’m even here in the first place, so I decide to head under the tree to try to stay dry.
Under the tree, I see a coconut. I then feel an intense pain in my stomach as a fall to my knees. I’ve been starving. I grab the 3 closest coconuts around me and a stone and start breaking the coconuts, eating everything inside them. Still hungry, I start looking for more. As I look around, I see that there are some atop of the hill so I run to them. My legs are shaky and I am very dizzy. Still confused as to why I’m here, but at this point, survival is the main priority.
Struggling to climb the rocks that were just knee high, I managed to make it up the hill, only to find not only more coconuts, but a man. A man, just standing there, looking at a very thin stone, almost like a gravestone. My need for food ceased when I saw him, So I cautiously walked to him.
“Your Awake, I thought ye’d be out for a few more moons.” He said. I have no memory of this person, but he seems to know me. “W-Who are ye?” I ask, surprised I still know how to speak. “Are ye serious, we barely got out of there alive and ye can’t remember anything? I can’t believe it.” He said, frustrated, “We’ve been held hostage to perform tests on us. People dying everyday, and ye don’t remember that?” I looked behind him to see that the stone he was by was indeed a gravestone.
“Who be under there?” I asked. “His name be Tucker, we were escaping together when they fired off their muskets and shot him in the back. I had to carry him here for a proper burial.” He replied. “Ye still remember how to use magic right? People with magic make it very far in this world, we just need to find the right people. There should be some rowboats on the island somewhere, I need to stay here and think things out.” “Where should I go?” I asked him, still unsure about the situation. “ Go to Redwake, most newcomers go there, the jaws protect them from large pirate ships. I wish you godspeed, Ronan, until we meet again.
Chapter 2: The Travel
I begin to drag the boat into the water. The man, of whom I still don’t know the name of, gave me a map to Redwake. I then start rowing the boat towards the direction while my brain is struggling to process what has just happened. So I take a deep breath, and slow down my thoughts. Ok, my name is Ronan, I was captured and had experiments done on me because I have magic, and I am going to–, wait, I have magic? What kind of magic? How do I use it? I had so many questions, and as I was trying to answer them, I sensed something. Like something dangerous, I started looking frantically, as I stopped rowing the boat. And then I see it, a canon, pointed straight at me. I then saw the smoke come out of it and knew of what was to come next. I jumped out of the boat as it exploded in tiny shards of wood.
………………….
I swam back to the island, my last hope of leaving, now destroyed. I then begin to walk around the island, picking up everything I see. There were many chests on the island, a lot actually, considering that there was not a single sign of life on the island except the trees. Then I started looking out into the ocean, I knew that there would never be a chance in hell that anyone would want to come to this island, absolutely no cha-, there’s a ship sailing towards the island now. “HEY!” I yell trying to get the sailors attention. Eventually the sailor docks on the island and jumps out of the boat. I start to head in his direction, almost running towards him. As soon as I get within 10 meters of him, he pulls out his sword. “Who is ye?” He asked, almost afraid of what I am, or what he thinks I am. “Apologies for startling ye, I just need a ride to a town called Redwake. My boat sank and I have no way of getting there.” I replied. It takes him a while to look at my raggy clothes and see that I’m not a threat. He then puts his sword down. “Me names Abelina arden,” He said. “I came here looking for clams. Ye’n’t happen to have any, would ye?” As I look at my collection of items I had gathered on this island, I just happened to have some. “Is this enough?” I asked, handing him the clams. “Plenty,” He said, “Hop in.” He didn’t really say much, the trip to Redwake. I guess he’s just not the talk’n kind.
Chapter 3: Redwake
I arrive at Redwake, and as soon as I step off the boat Abelina is already gone. As I look around, I see a person hiding under the ramp. Very strange, I approached him and asked what be the matter. “Get outta here, can’t ye see the islands being overrun by pirates.” He said, as he curled back up in a ball. I look around the dock and see that there are no pirates around, then I turn back to him. “I was told to come here.” I say, still confused about the ‘pirates’. “Well ye should go back from whence ye came.” He says, Still in a ball. And then some strange urge takes over my body, almost like I don’t have control over it anymore. “I can scare them off.” My body said, automatically. He covers his mouth, trying to hold back his laughter. I don’t blame him, I don’t look like the fighting type. I then look in my collection that I had made from the abandoned island, only to find that I had a knife. Well, I thought, I got myself into this mess, I have to get myself out of it.
I then walk up the ramp, knife in my hand, ready for anything. Only to find someone standing there, almost waiting for me. “Wait,” He said, “There’s no pirates up here, the person down there is Crazy Carl, he… How do I say this nicely, see things. I see that you’re new here, and need rest. Go to the Red Fin, all newcomers go there, you can get some rest there.” I look behind him to see the Red Fin, I then thank him for the help, Reach the guest beds and immediately fall asleep.
If you think its a good idea, please let me know.