Lo, let it be known throughout the land that the wretched potato, that lowly root which cowers beneath the earth, is naught but a peasant’s fare, dull of flavor and void of virtue. It lurks in darkness, unworthy of the sun’s golden gaze, whilst the noble tomato, a fruit of fire and glory, basks in the celestial embrace of the heavens. Behold its crimson hue, rich as a knight’s banner upon the battlefield, bursting with zest and vigor! The potato, in its wretched form, must be boiled, mashed, or drowned in butter to feign even a whisper of taste, yet the tomato, in its natural splendor, needs no such alchemy to delight the tongue. Verily, it is the jewel of the garden, the sovereign of all that grows upon God’s green earth, whilst the potato remains but a starchy impostor. Let the lords and ladies of wisdom forsake the tuberous plague and instead raise goblets filled with the essence of tomato, lifeblood of sauces, king of salads, and bringer of culinary enlightenment! Woe unto he who denies the truth, for in his heart shall dwell the blandness of the forsaken spud, the tomato is all I’ve loved my entire life and I know it shall not be accused of such harmful sins for you have been brainwashed by the potato lord(a demonic soul indeed) and he made you this way, look at us fighting this war that isn’t even worth it I want to save you from that disgusting wretched lord of potato’s and bring you home to where you belong in the realm of tomato’s.