Unsurprisingly, this is my opinion. Don’t get your your your your your your your your your in a twist.
Y’know, the Despicable Me movies aren’t the worst thing ever. They’re fine, servicable; certainly not the worst animated children’s films out there.
But do you know what’s the worst thing ever?
Those bloody Minions!
From the Get-Go..
From the get-go it was highly predictable that these evil, yellow bastards were going to take the world by storm.
General audiences and dumb children do not have the need for a general structure or joke;
Which results in Illumination Entertainment seeing dollar signs in their eyes after the success of the first movie, and realising that the over-saturation and branding of these living tictacs in every possible manner would be the best way of manipulating general audiences to handing over their cash, matter not how odd and bizarre they may be.
Take the Minions out of the first two movies; there really isn’t going to be much of a difference. They only exist purely because of their easiness to make a joke out of them that has nothing to do with the movie. And as long as they are loud and slapstick enough, kids and stupid people will lap up anything with bright colors and a fast pace.
But the Reason..
But the reason they piss me off so much, is that they’ve actually taken center stage to the property that made them in the first place.
So in essence, this cynical, lazy design has overtaken any sincerity the movie might have had originally and warped it into such a harmless, inoffensive bowl of pulp that the idea of a Minion can be applied to anything, even if it makes no sense.
In the same way that Jar Jar, Watto and all the other stereotypes in Star Wars that are considered offensive, the complete opposite can be applied to the Minions.
They are so characterless and inoffensive that people find it easy to insert themselves onto them for some reason.
I could comfortably forgive and forget all of what I just said.
This isn’t the first time a company attempted to profit from something so blatantly obvious and simple.
But here’s the thing:
These things are everywhere.
E V E R Y W H E R E .
The Minions are Everywhere
T
Lunchboxes, dog outfits, perfume, water bottles, headphones, T-shirts, weird baby costumes?
These things are really out of control.
Highly ROFL Minion Quotes/Memes
One of the more mind-numbing examples are the Minion memes.
I guess the broad, unfunny, predictable and obvious meme culture of the past decade goes hand-in-hand with the Minions if you think about it.
Let’s have a look at some of the particularly hilarious and randem xD ones.
…what do Minions have to do with this?
What does that even mean?
There is not a trace of enjoyability or humor in being insane. Being mentally ill to the point of being classified as “insane” is quite literally the opposite of funny.
This pathetic, desperate attempt at being quirky and relatable makes me want to poison myself.
There’s a cruel, ignorant irony to this picture; but again:
why is a Minion in this picture!?
The Minions are the token example of what I despise about kids’ movies.
Usually it’s to be expected that the annoying side-character that is used for nothing but comic relief that is limited to some extent.
Not multiplied ad nauseum and given their own film.
They are a visual summary of everything wrong with idiotic, thoughtless childrens’ comedy because why actually try?
When appealing to the lowest-common-denomimator with random, goofy, slapstick comedy is much easier.
The worst part of this is that they’ve ruined the term “minion” which was a word I often used in the past, so fuck you for that, Illumination.
