What if you had Shazam’s powers?

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my 16000th “what if you had X-powers?” post

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I would be mad that the only way to use my powers would be to turn into an adult version of myself.

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never use it but constantly think that you could one shot people when talking to them

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Annoy my cousin (she hates Shazam)

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You could commit crimes and nobody would know

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yup, until you grow up

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I would not pay taxes

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Could someone enumerate his powers?

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i have no idea who shazam is

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Superhero time

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Flight, super speed, super strength, wisdom, lightning, super durability

“He has the wisdom of Solomon, the strength of Hercules, the stamina of Atlas, the power of Zeus, the courage of Achilles and the speed of Mercury”

Also he turns into a buff adult when he yells “SHAZAM!”

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think magic superman

(minus the laser eyes n’ stuff)

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specifically, this:

Screen Shot 2022-11-13 at 6.43.11 PM
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(captain marvel was shazam’s old name)

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Wait wtf.

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yeah, he was originally called captain marvel until Marvel (the company) trademarked the name “captain marvel” iirc, so his name was changed to just be “shazam”

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it has it’s benefits
you could sneak into bars without being of legal age
you could go into strip clubs and not be stopped

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I’d rather not have my growth stunted.

Why would I want to go into a strip club?

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fuck you you already know the answer to that
unless you’re gay
in which case you go to a gay strip club

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you realize they’re a girl, right…?

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I would never want to go to a strip club.

Nah.