Axidus! Chapter 8 Evasion!

Trees came pelting down as Union Council troops hurried to catch Airis and his friends.

"Now what’? Mythic asked as a tree loomed over them. The tree created a shadow that darkened the grass.

"Just run! yelled Carter.

How, they are already gaining on us, Kendal quickly said as they picked up the pace.

Can’t we negotiate with them, asked Jocket.

You know as well as I do, they won’t listen to a word we say, Airis exclaimed.

Our only choice is to go on the offensive.

That’s a horrible idea, Kendal said.

I hate to admit it, but Kendal is right, our we’ll get a bounty either way.

We have no options remaining, answered Airis.

Can’t we just do both, Mythic asked.

Offensive and Evade at the same time? Those are two different things, Carter said

It’s our only option for now so we have to, Kendal said.


Sir, our allies and us included in the battlefield is scoring at 17 percent.
Kadlor frowned. 'How could this happen he said in a deep tone that turned from a shallow voice to an angry voice.

The contactor was frightened as he barely missed a ball of fire that crashed into a nearby computer.

His hair trickled.

Send more troops, NOW! thundered Kadlor’s voice.

At once sir, the contactor answered as he radioed another general who commanded another battalion of troops.


The sky was dark as stars dimmed the forever sky.

Ok we finally managed to evade them, Kendal said after they ran for at least 5 hours.

"I can’t believe we managed to pull that off, Mythic said raising his fist in triumph.

We can celebrate for now but unfortunately, they will continue to search for us in the future.

She’s right both of them will start a search, Airis said after Mythic and Jocket got done setting up a fire that lit up the area.

The fire lit the area and filled it with warmth in the cold bitter air.

This is the end of Chapter 8! Chapter 9 Will come in a couple of days! I’ll see you guys then!

put quotation marks

Okay, thanks for the advice will do next time!

I would recomend making a series central containing your previous stories. Maybe something simaler to: Syndicate - Writing - Remainders Just to help new readers catch up and old ones re-read

Okay thanks!

Stop using “Kendal said” or “Aris said”, it ruins the vibe and you should not be using that during dialogue. And apart from the other suggestions above, good job.

As he proclaimed, as he exalted the king, as he sighed, In his death throes he spoke, etc.

Add emphasis.


Thanks for the criticism!

But like everyone said, add qutoes. I feel like I’ve been telling you this since the first issue