I am very interested in becoming and elephant seal they’re very peculiar and cool, however nature stops me from doing so, is there any way around this? I would appreciate any help.
Plastic Surgery
plastic surgery
Does it look like I’m rich? Look at my teeth, man.
just hope you reincarnate as one
either that or jump into the ocean and ask them to teach you to be one
probably the same thing now that i think about it
Good idea, I know how to speak fluent seal!!!
ok then thats good
well that’s one step out of the way
the most crucial step in all of this though is to learn how to breathe underwater
wearing gear will look intimidating and might just end up getting you killed, also you’re broke.
I’ll simply harvest the oxygen from the water around me, I won’t need any gear I can speak fluent whale aswell that’ll protect me. Yes, I am.
Why here of all places?
it’s as close as you could hope to come to being an elephant seal within this life
also i’ve been meaning to watch this myself (i like body horror)
Pretty sure thats a walrus or something like that + an elephant seal is not the same as a regular seal nor a walrus.
yes it’s a walrus, however i said "it's the CLOSEST you could hope to come . . ." so it’s still technically valid
Yeah I gues…but it’s not good enough walruses are not that agressive or intimidating they just go around with their flippers or peacefully swim, meanwhile an elephant seal is a very scary animal they’re incredibly territorial and fight eachother by biting eachothers neck and usually they will have many bruises and scars there with the amount of fighting they’ve also got a terrifying sound and cry they’re huge animals that I would not like to mess with, I can’t say the same for walruses though 
just change the suit design / surgery 
and prepare to get absolutely clapped by a. other seals and b. orcas
I’m broke.
this surgery is free if you find the right people, though i cannot guarantee your survival considering things within the film that are shown
perhaps you should start a campaign
Nah if I get my hands on that type of money I’d just buy alot of glass plates, I’m just gonna eat alot of food then spray tan myself gray😎