I’m going to use correct grammar in this post so that it can be easier to read, I know that’s pretty uncommon of me but whatever.
When I get bored, I do a lot of random things. Whether that be learning a random song on the clarinet, or drawing pictures of muffins, or whatever. However, this is probably the best kind of boredom, when it’s so immense that you literally don’t feel like doing anything and begin to question everything.
I was asked a question this morning; “What is the best way to show kindness and hospitality to strangers?”
My first response was, “I don’t think there is a ‘best’ way to be kind, and that as long as you do something for someone else that they appreciate, or put others before yourself, that makes you kind”
There was one time in the 7th grade, where we were given an assignment to show kindness to others. The first ones to finish their “kindness card” received an unknown reward. There were 9 squares, and each one of them said something different. Some said, “Give 5 people a high-five”, others said “Give 8 people compliments”.
At first, I was furious and perplexed by the assignment. Why would I do something kind for the sake of getting a reward? Was the point to give us a definition of what kindness is? Who are they to determine what makes someone kind? If I’m going to do something kind, I’m going to do it to be kind, not for a reward.
Honestly, the assignment gave unrealistic expectations, and showed the students that people would be given rewards for doing things that were kind. I simply do NOT believe that. Life is unfair, and as a freshman, I seriously doubt you’ll get a free cookie for giving a tip to that one lady at Starbucks.
As the day went by I continued to ponder what actually makes a kind person. I began to write my thoughts down. I will now show what I wrote:
"If I think of myself as kind, does that make me arrogant? That cannot be a good philosophy to have. Certainly there are people that know they are kind and that makes it okay for me to say I’m a kind person. But wouldn’t that depend from person to person, though? If I were to walk up to a person I did not know and tell them I was kind, then would they believe me? Perhaps I would need to tell them first of all the kind things I had done.
But in doing that, by giving descriptions of each and every kind action I have done, does that really make my kind actions pure? Am I really convincing them that I’m kind, or am I just convincing myself? In telling this person about my kindness, do they begin to see me as a good person, or do they view me as arrogant? Do I view myself as a good person by telling them this, or do I think of myself as arrogant? Am I obscuring a good person, a kind person, and kind actions? What’s the difference?"
By then it started becoming clear to me that kindness was much like beauty and intelligence in the sense that it is subjective rather than, well, you know, holding that door open for that old guy at McDonald’s.
"Is kindness an opinion? it’s only determined by one’s own moral compass, right? Does that make my view of kindness different from someone else’s? Should everyone’s view on kindness be the same? If I see kindness as a chore than anything else, something I’m expected by society to show, does that make me a bad person? If I only show kindness to have kindness received, are my intentions really genuine?
Writing this down makes me wonder how many people are actually “kind”. It makes me wonder how many people consider themselves kind, and if those people are viewed as arrogant. How many people actually mean the compliments they give? It’s not like I’ll know because I can’t read minds.
Re-reading my initial point in the beginning, I realize what I said simply isn’t true. I don’t think putting yourself before others makes you kind if you don’t believe that it does. I don’t even think people that are kind are actually kind, because kindness is subjective. To me, kindness is doing things for others that you WANT to do. Holding that door open because you WANT to. But is that what other people see kindness as?"
This is just my opinion though, if you survived the length of my post, feel free to tell me what you think about it.
