remember these abominations?
today, my alter ego decided to write more of these!
warning:
- very out of character
- there are only 5 named characters here (kds, mino, exiled, dacien, aurielle salore)
- maid cafe au
- literally everyone is a maid except for kds himself
- not so subtle shipping hell
[ summer hold ]
guard: your majesty. you need to check out this maid cafe!
kds: what
guard: here, your majesty!!!
shoves a map in the king’s hands
kds: huh
HUH
WHAT
[ the scene comically cuts to outside of summer hold, somewhere around ashen volcano ]
kds: look at the map
where’s this maid cafe???
looks around
it should be that one… I think?
[ inside the maid cafe building ]
minotaur: shows up in maid outfit with a plate of comically stacked pancakes
OKAERINASAIMASE, HEIKA!!! (Welcome back, your majesty!)
kds: WHAT
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS
exiled: also shows up in maid, still keeps his helmet
this is worse than being exiled from umber keep
dacien: slides out from the kitchen in maid outfit
NOW WHAT THE FUCK WOULD YOU LIKE TO ORDER
kds:
dacien: SPIT IT OUT HOLY FUCK
aurielle: yells out from the kitchen
YOU FORGOT THE MENU!
throws menu at dacien
dacien: SHIT
throws menu at kds
kds: man what a warm welcome
opens menu
goes silent by the menu names
sir exiled?
exiled, still visibly cringing from the maid outfit: yes, your majesty?
kds: points at a menu item
an order of this one, please?
exiled: reads the menu name
are you sure with this one?
kds: yea
exiled: ok
inhales
HEY, ONE ORDER OF
☆☆☆ LET’S GO! SUPER SPARKLY KIRAKIRA TWINKLE RIBBON RAINBOW DAY ULTIMATE FINAL BLAST SILENT TOWER SWEET SUNDAE ☆☆☆
FOR THIS TABLE!
internally dies from having to pronounce that shit
kds: :niceman:
minotaur: now that’s a
wipes tears at the exiled who passed out
warrior worth fighting with
dacien: he ordered what
aurielle: hey dacien what’s the menu name again
dacien: YOU DIDN’T CATCH THE NAME???
aurielle: mhm
now repeat the order’s name again or I smite your dark arts society ass
dacien: f-fine…
listen closely, you little shit…
AHEM.
ONE ORDER OF
☆☆☆ LET’S GO! SUPER SPARKLY KIRAKIRA TWINKLE RIBBON RAINBOW DAY ULTIMATE FINAL BLAST SILENT TOWER SWEET SUNDAE ☆☆☆
aurielle: oh so a sundae
all right! it’s 4 pm, time for the drinks!
dacien: yes honey…
minotaur: ok
fucking whips out a fucking galleon of rainbow drink
now grab the glasses.
dacien: ok…
grabs out a heart shaped glass and straw
walks to kds table
slams them on the table
kds, terrified: thank you
minotaur: pours rainbow drink
fucking spills the thing on the table
kds: amazing
minotaur, screaming until the point the exiled fucking wakes up in reflex: KYA!!! I’M SORRY DAVID-SAMA!!!
runs to get some cleaning items, I guess
exiled: HUH???
kds, with motherfucking rainbow drink spilled over him: oh it’s nothing
exiled: notices rainbow kds
N-NANDE??? (W-WHAT???)
dacien: has mental breakdown
exiled: dacien!
dacien: what?
exiled: you forgot the moe ritual after serving!
dacien: another mental breakdown
ok.
watch.
exiled: grabs kds a plate of omelette and draws ‘send help’ with ketchup
you may follow him doing the ritual if you want
kds: what’s that ritual
exiled: uh it’s a pridormial magic chanting to make your foods tastier
dacien: please follow whatever I said after the first phase
I’m going to die from this
kds: ok
dacien: oishikuna-re!!! (be delicious!)
kds + dacien: moe moe kyun!
fucking blows away the heart-shaped glass with their magics
exiled: subarashii desu ne!!! (wonderful, right?)
kds: what does that mean I don’t speak keihatsu
exiled: idk too I’m literally a castlian
kds: nvm
aurielle: runs from the kitchen in full length maid outfit, with the sundae
minotaur: returns with a fucking camera tied with vastira
oh… aurielle-chan…
dacien: fucking trips aurielle
aurielle: KYA!!!
fucking trips and sends the sundae away to the fucking seven seas
GOMENNASAI!!! (I’M SORRY!!!)
kds: it’s ok
eats the omelette the exiled gave earlier
minotaur: anyways, let’s take a group photo!
uses the vastira as selfie stick
snap!
