It’s simple. Pick a sexual/romantic/gender orientation. Pick an animal (real or otherwise). Declare what action would trigger your army being sent after whoever does said action. Boom.
Personally, I’m sending a bisexual hellhound after everyone who DMs me using the actual DMs feature instead of the “Message” button.
I dunno what creature but I’m the heterosexual guy since nobody has claimed the most basic one yet
Picking magical creatures is hard… 
I get the Demiromantic Hummingbirds. I send them after anyone who trips the Nice Reply notification.
I’ll pick pansexual dragons to send after people who reply with joke offers to my trading posts
As every foul necroposter hopefully knows by now, I used to send 14 gay werewolves which were forced to rebrand after flagged posts were flooded by them
So currently, I have 4 buff werewolf warlords of ambiguous sexuality, who still dispose of necroposters
Also Syka I was planning to make a thread like this until you stole the idea you stinky >:<
heterosexual women
Sorry bud I’ve already claimed that sexuality
For my army of [PLACEHOLDER]s
time to consult wikipedia’s gallery of pride flags to find one that gives me the same result
7 gay shadow conjurers will gank anyone that disrespects shadow magic
mods can we get the 
react on the forums thanks
i’m gonna send the asexual dragons to invade denmark just because
I’ll take biromantic fruit bats please
11 genderqueer maenads will be summoned under all posts mentioning Leviathan
Anyways, heterosexual wyrm that aggressively annoys whoever mentions me
39 enby anomalocaris whenever someone says anything transphobic
wait isn’t this just like hardcore furry stuff. I have a new idea to make it less weird, how about we do the same thing but with machines, literally could be a lawnmower or attack helicopter because I am NOT a furball
Oddly specific question
it doesn’t gotta be an athro animal, i thought we were just doing normal ones anyway
fair it just had the potential to go furry if it went wrong. However I will still be deploying 80 microphonesexual Sikorsky CH-53E Super Stallion helicopters