Dear Journal,
I hate being afloat of these cursed seas. One minute you’re in the Dark Sea, having a beer with a couple friends, and the next their head gets bitten off. Draco could of at least had some decency and not left that huge pile of blood after his beheading. How rude people are nowadays. Luckily I wasn’t on cleaning duty so I wasn’t the second guy to get their head chopped off. Sea creatures must really love human blood.
Now that Draco is dead, and the other guy, I guess it’s time to reminisce of the times I had with them. Draco was a pretty funny dude and can do any impression you ask him to. The ship is going to get lonely without his Brown-Haired Iris the Anomaly impression. It’s just like Iris, but with brown hair. Truly original stuff.
And the other guy… well he was on cleaning duty… that’s basically it. What a sad life people have. Not for me, just him.
Sadly today deserves a more depressing series of mourning, as I lost the drinking game against some of the crew members. I was so close, yet it appears I couldn’t hold in my liquor. Have you ever had that feeling of strangling someone to near death, but let go just as they’re about to pass out and then you tie them to a rope and dangle them along the sea water so it appears that you’ll drop them for the fish to devour onto their juicy flesh while they scream in agony as the wish to never be born… probably not, but that’s what I felt like doing when I lost in third place. I swear, Joe cheats all the time. There’s no way he can win the game for five days straight so far.
Lastly, it appears that a storm may be approaching our ship in an hour. Hopefully it just thunderstorms without heavy rain as rain makes me more depressed than me having to share a toy so many years ago with my younger brother, Kelly. I hated doing that when I was younger, but I found out by severe bullying using other children makes all of your problems disappear so easily! Seeing as this is the Dark Seas, I wouldn’t be too surprised if a dancing shark came from the sky in a full suit, tie, and top hat with an orange band around it. It won’t be as interesting if it isn’t orange. Unfortunately that’s all I have for the voyage today. When this whole thing is done and over with, I hope to drown myself to death with my favorite thing in the world, booze. What a funny looking word.