After so much hesitation and avoiding, I have finally gathered enough courage to write this to expose my mistakes to the whole world to see and laugh.
Hi there, I’m huan71. I was a former AO player and a few AO artists may remember me as the idiot who wrote paragraphs to evaluate art on the AO art forum server. In addition, I also had two OCs based on my in-game characters called Harrison Marble and Vesna Richelieu to explain my interpretation of the AO world. However, over the months, I slowly lost interest in the game and have decided to leave everything behind altogether, both of in-game items via deletion and OCs via forgetting. It’s sorrowful but I feel like I have to do it due to changing conditions, both internal and external.
To start off, I have become an university student whose study schedule occupies a significant portion of my time and I feel the need to spend my time more wisely yet AO after the dark sea update doesn’t really fit my requirement.
From where I stand, Arcane Odyssey, especially after the dark sea update, has become a simulator with extra steps in which you have a colossal amount of time just get bigger numbers. If not, you ends up being fallen behind. This is especially true in PVP where the guy with the higher stats will always end up triumphing over the guy with better skills. This realization highly displeased me as I had spent quite a lot of time PVP training to better defend myself against gankers. It also didn’t help that I didn’t find the game as pleasurable as it had been due to the constant pressure of having to catch up and the guilt from wasting time.
Another reason as to why I quit AO was my relationship during the game. During 1.13, I met a competitive player called NINEZUEKAE who was a war saint then. I asked to join his clan thinking I would get better protection under him. Furthermore, I was looking for a place to store my galleons and a PVP master to train with. Nevertheless, after some months of being with him, a shocking and sudden event came.
It happened 2 months ago, on Friday night, after a long day of grinding Roblox Noobs in Combat, I was very tired and got curious so I asked NINEZUEKAE what his interpretation of the perfect woman was to which he trauma dumped on me saying his GF died in an accident. I told him to calm down and ignore the question if he wished. However, the event took a darker turn when he began to discuss his extreme internal conflict and came to conclusion that he was just hiding from his true self all these time which was a morally disengaged and Machiavellian demon.
I tried convince him that I was evil itself and saying that his deceased girlfriend would not want him to fall into the dark side. He later fired back with the “crime” he had committed which included driving someone to take their own lives and hurting a pregnant woman and pointed out that I still had the capability to distinguish right from wrong while he didn’t. After this, it was just the silence of midnight and frozen me.
It was at that moment that I realized my relationship with NINEZUEKAE was all for naught. I felt guilty because I reminded him of his greatest loss and making him to hide from his true self by convincing him to not delete his clan. At the same time, I felt dense because I was dedicated to him because I contributed the most into his clan treasury when other clan members were inactive. Hell, I even created the server that he uses to manage his clan in the present day which permanently bind myself to him.
Furthermore, in the process of being with NINEZUEKAE, I did some horrible things. First off, I terminated my friendship with my best friend ackraux for 7 months despite him being with me for more than 4 years. I only managed to come back to him because I was irritated by how toxic LoL players were. Secondly and perhaps more baffling, it twisted my interpretation of the dark side, thinking everybody has the some tolerance and imperviousness against it as me and NINEZUEKAE which ended up costing me a relationship with OneandOnlyFrancesca when I revealed myself that I was a former porn addict in spite of our age difference. I thought that by blocking her, I would protect her but really, I was just running away from my problems instead of owning up to them to solve them. If you’re reading this Francesca, I hope you’re doing fine and grow up being a better person than me. Finally, I have always been a very egocentric person and this farewell letter really shows and my relationship with NINEZUEKAE further amplified this. The evidence being whenever somebody shared their characters’ lore with me, I would just straight up ignoring them thinking that my OCs’ storyline are superior despite not developing them much or worse reposting them publicly for everyone to see even though OCs are highly personal as in the case with stellari_xx. Worse, my ego even drove me to leave a club at my university despite it being the last one I attended.
If you ever see NINEZUEKAE in a server, don’t damage him. His clan is bigger now and the members are equally aggressive and reckless as him. You may not
want to fall into a situation where you’re unable to play the game because his members become ghosts that haunt you. I have permanently blocked him now and do not wish to contact him every again.
I wrote this with the intention of releasing my built up frustration. I do not wish to return to this game nor even attempt to write paragraphs to comment on art again as I am beyond redemption. I’m simply a dude that have no purpose and is seeking guidance by reading philosophy. If you have any frustration or wisdom, please leave them in the comments down below.
I rest my case.
? ?