too long for me to read ahhhhhhh
Not reading allat, sorry for your loss or I’m happy for you 
No way i have the attention to read allat, but keep yourself safe!
So, I don’t think he’s telling the full story here, or atleast doesn’t realise that he’s not.
The event of me blocking him (and I can see that he blocked me too) was just a culmination of events that made me suspicious of this guy. The final straw, if you will. We’re been going back and forth in discord DMs for a few months before our final conversation and the blocking.
We started off relatively normal, talking about our characters, exchanging thoughts, normal art server stuff. What set off the first alarm bells for me was him telling me that he just likes talking to “girls that are better than him”, him complimenting my looks with the “horny warning” in front of it. These two happened back when he didn’t know my age (for clarity, I’m 14 and he told me he was 18).
So we kept chatting for a while, with the more notable comment being that I looked like an old character of his who he avoided talking about because it was sexual to the point of being offensive… Which, I absolutely did not need to know.
And then there’s THIS, which was the biggest alarm bell
On one hand I do feel partially responsible, because I should’ve either blocked him sooner (I really should have) or set my boundaries, but at times i still question how does a person not realise they’re being very damn questionable.
About the “last straw event”, Huan mentioning that he’s a former porn addict is only a part of it. In the full picture, he shared a… Concept of his involving some disturbing things being done to a character of my friend. I won’t disclose the details for the sake of my friend’s privacy and everyone’s collective sanity.
The reason I was repulsed by it wasn’t merely because of the former porn addiction, but because these kind of concepts isn’t something you share with anyone, especially some random 14-year-old online. And plus, this was a character of a friend. Of course this would not go well by me.
This post and the events mentioned are remembered from the top of my head, so the timeline may be a bit off, but I hope this clears up anything regarding our history.
P.S. thank you @FISHDOGFORTHEWINNN for tagging me in this, since I probably wouldn’t have seen it otherwise
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Hi, would you like to talk about faith sometime?
also man delete discord trust me and get into sports
maybe request to move this to off-topic? i’m sure there’s some minors here that may be oh what does that word mean
what did i just wake up to
Oh heck naw. OH HECK NAW! That is being straight up sick at this point. Fran was almost about to be groomed if she wasn’t cautious enough. That just completely disgusting.
Wish you all the best I guess. Take your time.
(Also some of you have the shortest attention spans known to mankind, reading that was no problem for me).
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Am I the only one who thinks this should be closed? 
wtf is this thread
After some time off, I decided to face up to my mistake and reply to a few comments addressing this post here even if I feel myself visibly shaken and struggling when writing this.
I appreciate you for adding additional info to this incident and fully acknowledge my fault.
At that time, I never knew that my action was a real red flag because I thought it was innocent fun as you looked extremely similar to the main character that came after Vesna and Harrison so I perceived your appearance as a basis for my characters’ appearances if I ever decided to learn drawing.
However, shortly after blocking you, I began to watch a limited number of true crime documentaries and realized how much of a hazard that action was. One thing I founded with those cases was that most of the victims were female, and often looked beautiful.
The case that traumatized me the most happened in 19th century France. The victim was Blanche Monier who was a mistress of an aristocratic family. She did not died a violent death like most of the cases I have watched but her fate or rather suffering, was particularly devastating to me. Due to her love interest which was considered to be low-class, her mother and lawyer brother locked her up in the family’s mansion for 20-25 years. When the police discovered her, the scene utterly shocked them. Blanche was bed-ridden, extremely malnourished and dirty. She went from one of the most beautiful woman in France to what I could best describe, an old witch with a skeleton attached. Her mother and brother was later apprehended and she was quickly hospitalized. Nonetheless, due to her extremely poor health condition, Blanche passed away at the age 64, not knowing that her love had ended his life long ago. The father of the family was rarely mentioned in this case because he was sick at the time and only cared about his son.
Having listened to this case, I began to ponder about beauty. I began to view it as a double-edged sword to its haver. On one hand, it could help them be viewed positively by the crowd yet at the same time, in that presumably positive crowd, there were always predators who couldn’t bear seeing beauty and its haver as existing objectively. They want to own them, become the master so they could “play” with them to their hearts desire and I was truly one of those predators. The act of creating you in AO only reinforced that claim.
As for me disclosing disturbing details about what my “character” do to other people’s characters, I did not know about the concept of boundaries then. I viewed discussing brutality as being extremely normal and that it should be encouraged as a mean to protect oneself from it yet I ignored the fact that it could influence how one should act if presented online, viewed the world and that people perceived things differently.
From where I stand, what caused me to think this way was my idolization of NINEZUEKAE’s combat capability which he often resorted to whenever someone unintentionally damage him in-game. I perceived violence as a mean to strengthen oneself and mastering violence was a sign of strength. How stupid I was. However, I should have noticed some red flag with NINEZUEKAE such as him loving Sukuna in conjunction with Gojo, possibly the most brutal conflict in all of Jujitsu Kaisen at the time and his AO play time being exorbitantly long for a working adult. Moreover, he often fantasized about the one-man army prospect which was highly unrealistic and dangerous.
For some time, I thought I could reconcile with you but that is no longer the case for I have caused untold damage to your mental well-being and lied to everyone about your situation. It’s best that you stay away from me for I am too dangerous to get close. I am unsure whether I have learnt to set boundaries. Only time will tell.
Faith? Which kind of faith do you mean? By faith in myself, I don’t really have any for it was thrown in the gutter by me during my secondary school time.
What really went down was both a tragedy and a comedy in of itself. When I was a 9th grade student, I began to study for an important exam which determined which high school I would enter. However, that was done in an extremely tight schedule, my peers and I quite literally had to study the entire curriculum of 4 years of secondary school in 3-4 weeks compared to largely 12th grade curriculum at high school in 6 weeks.
Due to how rushed the timeline was, the revision was done with extreme negligence. Math was not taught in great details and English was just scarping by. Nevertheless, the one that really destroyed me and subsequently molded my mind was literature. At that time, how I tackled literature was reading various sources to write a proper essay. This progress often took a week yet essays and exercises came daily so this method was unsuitable. However, instead of going along with what anyone was doing which was copying whatever was written online, I became angry and viewed that act as plagiarism and insult to creative brainwork so I went along with my way. In addition, I also thought that any additional research and decision made by me was completely pointless and objectively wrong and whatever was requested and written by a higher authority (teacher or parent) was always the best and truly correct.
Over time, that anger and mindset would only drain me. I slowly became more and more egoistic, thinking that just by knowing about something, I am automatically better than everyone around me when in reality, those information doesn’t retain and what I was doing was just running away from my problem instead of facing it head on.
To add salt into injury, COVID-19 was brewing and my mother was bed-ridden. I simply didn’t know what to do in those situations. I panicked and went to pornography and games to escape the situation I was in. It was also at this time that porn addiction was at its peak because it gave me a sense of me being the master of my life when I was just a lazy dumbass refusing to face up to the challenges of life and just wanted everyone to went along with my selfish desire.
Although I had a relatively peaceful high school years, the act of running away from my personal responsibility still remained, so to is the effect of porn addiction. I’m uncertain whether I could fix this problem because this mindset has stuck with me for so long. I was given a deadline by my father confirming whether I would continue studying university. I hope this could be an opportunity for me to destroy this mindset.
Getting to sport is a nice thing but deleting Discord definitely isn’t. I have someone whom I have known for nearly 6 years and he has been staying with me despite the numerous time of me blocking him. He acted as a kind of barrier that prevented me from going insane and harming anyone around me when they don’t conform to my desire. The absent of him is catastrophic and it really showed. My only active contact on Discord now is with him and I fear removing him permanently out of my sight would result in a repeat of this incident.
I agree to this decision as this thread is extremely dark and not for the faint of heart.
I do wish to play Noobs in combat with you some time but seeing how much of a mess I truly am, it’s better for you to avoid me. Beside, I have extreme skill issue which will hinder your progress.
Closed but not deleted. I prefer this to exist as a case study of placing trust in the wrong person when an individual is already tormented by their circumstances would result in insanity, deception and extreme harm.
Alright man this sounds hella serious but is this the right place to be posting this?
I would like to say again, why exactly was this posted to the forums.
this doesnt really seem like something that fits here, and even then it would more fit off-topic more than game discussion.
I just realised it’s in game discussion lmao
and being in introduce yourself as well is, questionable to say the best
For sure this was caused by my incompetence and lack of touch with the game as I have quit the game for 1.5+ months when this was posted.
I simply didn’t know off topic was even a thing on this forum. This post was written to get my frustration off with my terrible AO experience. I am very much interested in everyone’s reaction of me so I can better overcome myself and take myself as a massive disaster to avoid.
ok so can I have all ur stuff then
lettuce