The Forum Recipe Book

Off Topic
21

Knife

1 Knife
You

  1. Hold knife
  2. Eat
  3. Bone Apple Tea
22

PB&J Toast

  1. Toast a piece of bread
  2. Add a thin layer of butter
  3. Add a layer of peanut butter
  4. Add some jelly and spread it
    4.5. Don’t add another piece of bread. Leave the peanut butter and jelly exposed.
  5. Eat
23

1/10 I’m in the ER right now because of you

1 Like
24

10/10 Simple but effective

1 Like
25

Me who can’t make an egg without making it literal rubber and not taste like donkey shit
de

1 Like
26

The Dinner Orgy

I like sandwiches. I like meat. I like mashed potatoes. DONT FUCKING JUDGE ME, SOCIETY!!!

  1. Microwavable Mashed Potato thing (preferably bob evans single)

  2. Left over burger / porkchop / pulled pork

  3. Hamburger bun

  4. ur favorite bbq sauce

Step 1: Make the mashed potatoes according to directions on the box.

Step 2: Heat up da buger/poggop /pulg pock

Step 3: Shred up the burger / porkchop into tiny pieces that are tiny. very tiny

Step 3.5: If you dont have pulled pork, grab whatever you took and squirt a bit of bbq sauce in it. Mix it with a fork

Step 4: Heat up meat

Step 5: Assemble (Bottom Bun, Splat of mashed potato, Meat, Splat of mashed potato, Top bun)

Step 6: Eat and be depressed about the fact that you’re eating poverty.

27

@Robotstics

1 Like
28

Okay but why that name?

29

I might as well copy and paste this recipe from my amino profile

TAITC’s ‘World Famous’ Mac and Chez

you thought I couldn’t cook? ur damn fuckin’ wrong cus i am a cooking afishunadoe or however it’s spelled

ingradients

  • any kind of pasta (but still use macaroni, it’s not called ziti and cheese you stupid fuck)
  • water
  • milk
  • cheese (just any you have lying around, no, I don’t care if it has maggots in it)
  • butter, salt, pepper

directione

  1. fill pot with water and put on boil until boiling

  2. once boiling, add the pasta and cook till at least ale dent or whatever it’s called

  3. drain all water from pot and set the pasta aside

  4. use the pot to melt the milk and cheese together

  5. put the pasta back into the pot and let it uhh “cook”

  6. once all the pasta is coated, serve it up and add the seasoning or add ketchup like the sick fuck you are

  7. enjoy i guess

and i stg if you dare put ketchup on your mac and cheese
i’ll fucking kill you

30

Because yes

31

:fax: fax

32

eh as a self-proclaimed bad chef, lemme share one of the things I made when I was living alone and not stuck with my family bc covid

this shit seems like some kind of a noodle stir fry I think, but I’m too lazy to buy other ingredients

ingredients I think

  1. a package of noodles (grab the one with flavoring packet)
  2. egg
  3. oil
  4. whatever seasoning you got (I got soy sauce)

so you basically

  1. boil the noodles until it looks cooked, drain the water
  2. add a bit of oil, then throw the noodles in the pan and cook that shit
  3. crack the egg and yeet it in the pan with noodles, and scramble the ever-living shit out of it
  4. season that shit with the flavoring packets and any other seasonings you got
  5. cook that shit until you think you won’t get sick from any uncooked stuff. you can add whatever you want in this hell stir fry, I have a low appetite when it comes to actually eating so yeah
1 Like
33

Poorest Recipe of the Week award goes to… @BNTarwarn!!!

:trophy:

1 Like
34

I’m honored.

35

by the way the trophy is plastic and it says ‘congrats on beating cancer agatha’

yeah i got it from a good will

36

speaking of poor recipe

yall ever cook some instant porridge and scramble some egg in it until the egg feels kinda cooked

yeah that shit’s what I ate too

37

“Kidney Murderer”

1 Packet of ramen
Any sort of seasoning
“A Shit Ton” of Salt
Sausages

  1. Boil your ramen
  2. Add your Salt
  3. Add Your seasoning to the sausage
  4. Cut sausages and put them into ramen
  5. Bone Apple Tea

(I’ll post an actual recipe I swear)

38

lay down some butter on a pan, heat it to sizzle, crafk an egg over it, put a top on to cook the top of the egg, wait until the edges are browned or to your liking, lift top and turn off stove, add salt at your leisure

39

You lost me at the butter on a pan part (Yes I’m actually so shit at cooking that I struggle spreading butter on a pan)
But I guess if it makes it any better I can make pancakes, waffles, and just cook pasta, that’s about it though. Cooking really isn’t for me :woman_shrugging:

40

b r u h

1 Like