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gimmie a rant rn
It’s been 16 minutes! He ordered his rant 16 minutes ago! Where the hell is it? I demand to see the manager!
that being said, oh my fucking god, vetex, what the hell were you doing when you made atlantean ships?
let me provide some context:
so, i’m going into the dark sea after watching a video giving tips about it. cool, i know that i can actually fight atlantean ships and how to take on sirens without perishing.
so, i actually do pretty well, and stumble across some islands, some dead boats, etc, and i manage to find a SIREN island! nice. i make the mistake of high jumping, but i get out fine and alive anyway because i’m a high defense conjurer with a weapon that has a grab and a G button.
get three chests, continue, to the next island, a volcano. okay. nothing’s there. it’s just a volcano, why is it here? whatever.
so i run into a couple more siren islands (because for some reason i swear the darksea chest spawnrates were nerfed, i’ve ran into two normal ass chests after killing atlanteans several times, this loot is ASS. i don’t care if chests were made “more exciting”, they’re still normal ass chests. give me a guaranteed silver or gold or bronze sealed for killing your enemies, jesus christ.
so, that aside, i happen to run into a THIRD siren island! awesome i can’t wait to get my three dark che-
DARK SEA THEME
ah, shit. looks like i can’t fight them for now, let’s see what i can do- oh my god, they’re already doing that much damage? alright well i’ll get out of here, can’t seem to hit them with these carronades from here, i’m behind them, i’ll go for the ram, aaaaaand, like, 2 fucking damage. awesome. can’t even get a good attack off without potentially getting carpet bombed. it’s NOT fun when I’M the one getting obliterated. guess i have to run away.
except THEY’RE ON A FUCKING BRIG WITH A MORTAR THAT DOESN’T EXPLODE. GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. AND MY REPAIR HAMMER ISN’T EVEN BRONZE. WHY DON’T I HAVE A BRONZE REPAIR HAMMER? THAT SHIT BETTER BE BUYABLE, THIS GAME HAS ENOUGH RNG BULLSHIT
edit: It is buyable from Thorin’s. That is the only way you can get it. I was simply rambling in rage.
so they manage to whittle me down because i can’t repair hammer fast enough, and there’s still WAVES of bad fucking game design just waiting to dick my boat down, and while i’m doing that, i hear a little
knockknockknockknock
…Right. Enemy boats can repair themselves. Instantly. Multiple times.
here, just have the rest of this clip to see how it went.
worst fucking part about this is that i actually dealt massive damage to them when i was at, like, 500 health, which means that i MIGHT’VE BEEN ABLE TO WIN. just like how i MIGHT’VE DIEDEVEN SOONER because they’d do the same TO ME. BECAUSE CONSISTENT BOAT DAMAGE IS A FUCKING MYTH.
WHY CAN THE NPC BOATS INSTANTLY HEAL TWO THIRDS OF THEIR HEALTH, MULTIPLE TIMES, WHILE I CAN’T? WHY CAN’T MY CREWMATES GET OFF THEIR ASSES AND FIGHT THE CAPTAINS OF OTHER BOATS? WOULD IT CAUSE LAG? OF COURSE IT WOULD, OPTIMIZATION ISNT PART OF THIS GAME, EITHER! FUCK!
WHY IS VETEX SO INSISTENT ON HAVING THE WORST FEATURES IN HIS GOOD GAMES? WHAT THE HELL?
YOU MAKE A GAME WHERE YOU EITHER TAKE UNGODLY DAMAGE IN ONE SECOND AND CAN’T FIGHT BACK BECAUSE THEY’RE ALREADY IN SPACE WITH FOUR PROJECTILES IN YOUR FACE OR THEY’RE RUNNING AWAY AT THE SPEED OF SOUND AND DIVE UNDERWATER WHERE NONE OF YOUR ATTACKS CAN HIT HIM BECAUSE YOU’RE A HEAT MAGE (DOGSHIT FUCKING FEATURE, REMOVE IT) OR LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE BECAUSE THIS GAME’S PVP IS ACTUAL TRASH WHEN YOU’RE NOT IN MUNERA (AND IT STILL HAS MASSIVE PROBLEMS WHEN YOU ARE)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Sorry for the long wait, sir, your copypasta is ready!
the waves in the dark sea aren’t actually that bad when you’re sailing, it’s a good way to see how skilled your sailing is.
unless you’re fighting on an island and can’t actually do anything about it, heeey, triple lightning strike and the biggest fire wave i’ve ever seen! awesome.
TheWhiteJawa implies the existence of other colors jawa
funnily enough the only way to obtain it is buying it from thorin
i might be stupid
well yeah this is what the typical jawa looks like
mine comes from a littlebigplanet outfit where the clothing was white
its okay it took me 150 hours of play time to realized that
what.
yeah we persecute them tho
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As a mage with magma and explosion, not being to use magic underwater is total BULLSHIT it locks me out of many reagents and straight up makes me a sitting duck underwater (hey sharks in sea charts!) Just make our magic like way weaker but let us use it please
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that’s the fun part, they were 
god forbid you have fun in arcane odyssey
okay can someone tell me what the hell THIS is
WHY AM I SINKING SO FAR
IS IT THE BURSTING OR SOMETHING
NONE OF MY OTHER SLOTS DO THIS
THIS GAME SUCKS
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS?!
i swear this fucking update becomes less and less fun by the day. everything’s just a slog. why am i fighting atlanteans for two basic treasure chests meanwhile the empty fucking building has two darksea chests. it isn’t rewarding
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Maybe you should take a break from the game?
Nobody is forcing you to grind the Dark Sea