i mean curses are supposed to be common knowledge so that makes sense, elius says “almost everyone in the war seas has heard of them”
Ooh, the idea of Neviro explaining it does make a bit more sense… but that would mean that MC would have to approach him first rather than Iris? Iris would be the first priority since MC is helping her, so Im not sure if they would even talk to Neviro after that. Maybe MC shouldve asked Iris then…? Idk though.
Well, we could say that the MC would ask Iris, she would say that she doesn’t know a lot about curses, then either her or the MC would get the idea to try and ask Neviro, since he knew about the Order being there.
Side thing: if Neviro tried to not talk about it, I can definitely see Iris threatening to burn him with her magic (and the MC having the option to either join in with the threats or defuse the situation, with Neviro deciding to tell them about sea curses since they’re all against the order anyways)
haven’t read the thread but I’ve noticed that vetex uses “anyways” a lot
surely there are better ways to bridge talking points
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That reminds me… I think I used to have a similar habit of using the same words or repeating points in the past. I improved on it due to English Class and some good feedback on it. It might be a subconscious thing for him.
…Does Vetex have an editor? Should he get one? I thought Tech took care of that stuff. 
I wonder if the Testers gives feedback on the story text/dialogue…
I need certain characters to be a bit more hesitant with information
for example, Calvus just mentions the order, as if he already knows that the player knows that he’s part of it. You could make the argument of him being sure that he’s going to defeat the player and thus lets his guard down talking about the order like that, but since he already knows that the player’s power is so high, I don’t think it’s that likely.
The whole conversation after that is fine, since now Calvus knows for sure that we do know about the order and we’re not just attacking him in revenge for getting captured after killing Argos. And since he knows he has the best chance of staying alive if he does provide information, he’d try to say as much as possible without going into specifics, otherwise the order would kill him.
I’d just remove the direct reference to the order and maybe replace it with a purple coloured “they” instead or just rewrite that whole dialog line to exclude that part but still have it make sense.
Yeah… at this point to the player they are just a bunch of super evil nerds
Like literally Calvus was an insecure loser who spread himself too thin and joined because he wanted power.
Speaking of how characters act after you beat them, I wish they were a bit more emotional. Argos is the only one to seem somewhat mad while Elius and Calvus just kind’ve accepted it. I want them to get mad or scared, I want them to cry and beg for their lives or scream at me that I will pay or deny that their loss is even possible and insult me til they’re put down. People are way too chill with their losses. Especially Calvus when he was legit talking about how mad he was at the start of the encounter.
“if i was still young your body would be in the ocean rn”
“ive been waiting for someone to best me, i welcome death so i aint telling you allat lmao”
“i cant believe i was beaten by this dumbass”
“whats a sea curse? im glad you asked”
“man this shit crazy cant believe this bozo beat me”
“we wanna release some dude cause he prison and we want power lol”
Too long, all dialogue goes in one box or more
“Go to Redwake, anyway we were in a concentration camp, also Tucker died. Take this regular knife, I ran out of magic ones.”
“I get drunk and beat people to death for money, wanna do that too?”
“The other High Lords? I know one, his name is Nunya. Anyway please kill me that was the one line I had planned.”
“If you catch 5 fish Im gonna move into your boat. Also I’m a deserter, also there’s a weapon tied to a missing navy hero. Wonder who that is.”
“I HAVE, AT LONG LAST, LOCATED YOU, THE INDIVIDUAL RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DESTRUCTION OF THE RAVENNA MILITARY OUTPOST KNOWN AS FORT TALOS, THE COLLAPSE OF WHICH HAS DEALT SERIOUS DAMAGE TO MY KINGDOM AND IT’S SAFETY AND FOR THAT I AM HERE TO DISPOSE OF YOU BY SENDING YOU TO AN UNDERGROUND PRISON COMPOUND TO EXCAVATE METALS FOR OUR NATION.”
“Anyway Im gonna fuck off and not dump shit in the ocean next time. Stand proud, you’re strong.”
“What are sea curses? Just look up One Piece Logia I’m kinda dying.”
“Ravenna took my dad so now I’m going to kill these innocent people and destroy this island because they’re allies.”
“Our boat got holes in it, anyway go take your smaller boat to the guy that we think put holes in our boat and fuck em up.”
“What is boxing? How stupid are you?”
“There’s a war? I don’t give a shit but what if you could dodge but it’s magic and it builds walls and stuff? Deal? Okay go kill these people.”
“Wake up, I need black crystals. I need black crystals, (Playername). They’re in the dark sea, and I need them for my research. You trust me, right?”
“A bunch of years ago 3 punks founded a edgy clan here and look where we are now. Also nobody has ever seen them.”
“We’re executing the criminal Smith for… Wait maybe we shouldn’t give them a platform to speak to the public. Execute him.”
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I feel like a simple solution would just be for vetex to take a step back and look at the standards for what rpg dialog should be
Like I replied to another topic saying some along the lines of arcane odyssey dialog and deepwoken dialog just do such a different approach that it’s already comical
I feel though jokey that statement it is true that deepwoken in my subjective notion has better personality in the dialog
uh case in point like vetex would never use like half the words deepwoken puts in the ui flavor text
to me;
deepwoken’s world feels so much more lively or real because of the dialogue alone and the methods they use to make it feel real via the facets of character descriptions or the particular word eloquence littered all over the rpg
like you can say all you want first sea is merely the start and the story will turn into some vagabond or cowboy bebop reverse comedy that is so good it’ll change peoples lives but this start with the plain/blunt statements that usually go along the lines of “Grr…you rat! I’ve been beaten! I will not lose!” followed by “Lore Lore Lore”
;hell if he really wants to get it out he can skip the dialog with the fancy english language and just insert the personality into it instead bad example but there’s a game on roblox named a entry point. Hitman payday kinda fps but a story is found inside
the story is relatively short and cheesy but what makes it so appealing is the character and dialog that is made between them you can just feel the way the rosalin entirely decides to solely think in chaotic dreams you really feel sadness in the tone of the words when the freelancer faces their inevitable own demise at the end
literally any of this is void though if vetex goes ‘mmm but I don’t have time plus I don’t have money’
I think most dialogue is OK! But the only small section that gave me a headache was during the the eternal mines when I was lore dumped about winterveil being blasted… It happend in such a short amount of time that I could barely internalize what happend
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Deepwoken, despite not having an actual storyline, has a better story than AO so far tbh
Bro I’ve never been much of a PvE player but the books and quests that build lore in a believable way are insanely fun, in AO it’s just text dumps usually
tbh vetex should do cutscenes of what happened for that instead of it being a massive lore dump
like stationary pictures of nero flying to winterveil and blasting it
Yeah… Kinda like the elius cutscene, cause i had a hard time ubderstanding the story…
He made himself clear 
This nature of the War seas that seems to be implied gives me a bad feeling with how the story will goes.
Unchecked power and ego trip is evil, but when that unchecked power and ego trip is our side, then that’s good.
which if that is the case, I hope it’s not portrayed that we have to root for our team and we are totally the good guys.
The MC & Co. cannot do any wrong unless it advances the plot. /j
Despite not knowing much about Jack and Sofia, or even having much screentime, we still feel their emotion through their gameplay dialogue and cutscenes.
While I do have a gripe with The Director having no character other than he did some bad stuff in the past, I must praise the Phoenix main cast for making us feel their feelings.
Vetex always secretly changes his ideas and retcon things without us knowing. Making people misunderstood, and proceed to call us not paying attention
So I have very little in Vetex learning from criticism in the story.
@MrYes
I sure love it when a story saying unchecked power and ego are wrong. but make their underdog protagonist and their side we are supposed to root for become the idea that’s being antagonized