(Macobre's Contest Entry) Dream of Relief


I was very hesitant to make this entry at first, and honestly I still am. I feel pretty uneasy about posting this but, eh, the worst that could happen is that @Dragon will correct me on a grammatical mistake I made

I was inspired to do this in my own approach, without this actually being too accurate to the elemental and the mythical creature that it’s written after.

this was written in first person which i’m not exactly comfortable with




Hope and despair battle each other out inside of me.
I have a fragile heart, for one good deed I do hope takes a step forward, but for every foul deed, despair always takes the lead…
I am not a good man, a murderer, I see horrors one would consider torture and for I cannot rest peacefully, as every delusion invades me in my sleep.

Though sleep is not always dreadful, there’s this one particular delusion I see. A delusion like no other else…

A dim forest in the sunset, surrounded by blinding haze with sunrays piercing right through the betweens of large, hearty trees.

The grass underneath me fresh and organized, as if each grass stem was carefully treated, and in-front of me was no other than the beautiful elk itself, it’s antlers resembling the branches of a tree, with what I could’ve sworn were cherry blossoms sprouting from them.
The elk with it’s head lowered onto the ground, carefully regulating the grass just like I had imagined, each stem of it caressed by the astonishing creature…

It raised it’s head at me, and I already began fearing for my life. In my head, I was already imagining it treating me like every other nightmare I’ve had so far has… But it did not, just like every stem of grass it’s been taking care of, it tried to do the same to me.

It approached me, and once close, lowered it’s head to me… and I was astonished, I couldn’t resist but gently touch a cherry colored leaf arising from it’s elegant antlers.
And in an instant, all my horrors, nightmares, terrors, frights, dreads, bursting and emerging out of me, materializing and causing chaos on the forest the elk had been so carefully taking care of.
And there I witnessed it again, at my very own fault, wrecking the efforts of others, despair began to fill me again.
But I couldn’t help it, as I reached my hand closer to grab the elk’s antlers, I felt the same despair of mine emptying from me at a rate faster than it was filling, I felt unshaken amidst a crashing world, as calamity unfolded before my eyes on the elk’s hard work…

All my fears of which terrorized me for years, were revolving the area around me, but I wasn’t scared, as long as I felt this elk’s warmth embracing me.

Though that dream had reached it’s limit, I felt light against my eyes as I awakened from my deep slumber, and my body feeling free of despair, but with no despair to fill my body, I felt nothing but emptiness.

“How do I fill my body with such hope instead…” I pondered to myself, as I was recalling the events of that last dream…

I pondered the same thing for months, though as time passed my soul had already been filled with despair again, as I was still not a good man, and had not seen the beautiful elk again ever since.

I needed it.
It’s warmth.
It’s caressing.
It’s hope.
It’s repellency to my fears.
I wanted to become one with it.
The Cherry Elk.

Though I had no way to reach it.

One dreadful day, I had finally decided. I wanted to encounter that elk. Again. I packed up my things, and headed out to the forest and weared out a whole day searching for it, but it was all in vain.
My hopeless soul full of despair began to corrupt even further as my pitiful efforts in search kept failing. I felt the wrath arise in me, I stared down at my foul hands splattered in blood, feeling lost, as always.
But as I kept wandering in the forest, there I saw it, that carefully caressed grass, looking like no other than the way the elk used to take care of it, it lead me like a path, following up to the edge of a cliff, where the grass eventually stops growing, I stared down at the edge of the cliff, a deadly fall.

I glance to my rear, and see a regular elk staring at me from the forest behind. A faint smile grew on my face, a genuine smile that had not formed in years full of despair, and with that, I turn my focus back in-front of me, and gaze at the bright orange sunrise coloring the bright sky…
I stared down at the cliff, discarding all my memories of my loved ones, and I took my last step forward, and as I fell, I felt it, I was brought to that forest, and there I reunited with it…

I became one with it…
The one thing I truly desired…
That brought me hope…
And rid of despair…

The Cherry Elk.

3 Likes

@liu :sleeper:

1 Like

haha I’ve arrived

this is just a general thing and personal opinion so you don’t need to take this too seriously, but it seems overly poetic for “first person”, literally no one would ever think this stuff unless writing poetry or somethin

If you can see what I mean from this chunk for instance

the wordplay is pretty good but you could make it rhyme a bit more considering the style

“regulating the grass just like I had imagined” huh? what’s it doing? I honestly can’t tell what the elk is actually doing here

uh… what?

is repellency a word? I don’t know, either way this segment sounds really wonky

uhhhhhh

good repeating part

I can’t really go through grammar or specific rn because I’m on mobile, but it’s overall pretty good, just sorta wonky in some spots and needs more rhyme or rhythm

OOOOOHHHHEBSJBRWONDNROENDOJFJRB THIS ONE’S SO GOOD TOO

I love how you really played with the illusive nature of the Elementals

1 Like

You mean that wasn’t just a typo? You actually meant illusive instead of elusive?

first time?

yes,i still remember this

oops I m illiterate

taking care of it, keeping it at it’s perfect state, though i do admit it’s not specifically stated how it does it. it could be many ways the reader could imagine, but personally what i was imaging is that it had its head lowered on it whilst it did it’s magic on it

the terrors that were released from him went on a rampage on the forest that the elk was taking care of

yes

if you don’t understand that bit, basically he comitted suicide to find hope or peace, the cherry elk in the story portrayed a calm and peaceful state of the mind. in death, without the world’s problems to worry about, the murderer found peace.

tl;dr humans should never meet elementals or they’ll commit suicide

oop-

Meeting a Cockatrice, Basilisk, or Wyvern will probably kill you anyway-

1 Like

they’re just doing you favors and ending it quickly before you’re driven insane

Cockatrice turns you into a cool statue too. How neat

i’d love a statue of me :smile:

I wouldn’t :fr:

a mirror is already too much

1 Like

Tbh I would enter in this if my writing skills weren’t on par with that of a toddler :nod:

i just wanna ride a quetzalcoatl

reference to my writing…???

oop that’d be fun to draw :eyes:

just won writing contest via favoritism gg ez skill issue get better noobs

image actually draw this instead

if first place don’t want me i aint gonna chase after it

that’s how i cope with rejections :sunglasses:

and a lot of tissues for the tears