I’m a fairly literate guy, and I won’t be the kind of person to just ‘write off’ a story because ‘it’s roblox’. Vetex dreams of being a writer down the road, and I think he has the chops, but there are some, small gripes I have with how he tried to blend the story in with the character info page- the order tab in particular.
You see he built this system where you get ‘clues’ towards the identity of an order member- something that would be useful if there was already a large enough cast for this to matter. General Argos just doesn’t exist before his area of the story, and aside from that there was really no one else to suspect of being the high lord other then Calvus and his brother.
Now, this is an mmo styled game and it can already be difficult to capture people’s interests, but Vetex really wanted to focus on ‘not spoiling’ people on the identity of these order members, without any buildup to really ‘wow’ people when the reveal happened.
We never got to know Argos or Calvus outside of when they were members of the order, and as such the clues to their identity feel more like solving a murder case- rather then pulling back a web of intrigue on a power worshipping cult ingrained in societies the world over at the highest level.
How I think the web-of-intrigue tab for the Order could be put to better use in the future is to introduce a small cast of characters, one of which is a baron working under a high lord elsewhere. Whilst not necessitating branching paths- it rewards careful readers and prudent players by letting them spot the clues for who they think the next baron is.
So for example, in the next story bits we are going to Sameria to convene with the queen in order to stop war from breaking out. This could be a great chance to introduce a cast of nobles and advisors alongside the queen- and hint that one, or maybe even multiple of them are members of the order.
Whilst the player focuses on the immediate issue- stopping the war, in the background, certain members of the court will try to undermine you, then it could flow naturally back into dealing with the order once more.
Now obviously, I’m not trying to write the story, and this is just how I would do it. I think the order tab and web-of-intrigue clue system is great, and could present a lot of opportunity for storytelling you could only experience through the medium of games, but I HIGHLY recommend to Vetex and tech that in the future, they try to introduce barons and high lords before the reveal, and flirt with the idea of player expectations. One, this builds relation with the player, and two, it can also build ‘hype’. When a player finds out who a order member is before they are revealed- that means they now know who they will inevitably get into a bossfight with, what cool gear they might get in a drop that they see the character carry around, stuff like that.
Just some food for thought and writing advice, I don’t think it’ll overall ruin the players experience if we just get hints to a barons identity before we meet them, but it could certainly enhance the experience by having us try to deduce from a cast of characters who they are.
