Wounded: Chapter 1

Wounded - Chapter 1: Encounter

Word count: 859

“How much is your bounty?”

“250,” a man said across the desert.

“Hmm.” The bounty hunter glanced at the bandit. “Alright, time to go to jail now.” He pulled out his colt.

Bang!

A loud gunshot boomed through the valley. The man on the receiving end of the barrel dropped to the ground in a pool of blood, but could still speak to the other man.

“I’m still alive you idiot! If you want to capture me, arrest me unharmed!” The bandit was furious.

“It’s either you get shot again or get on my horse, so choose wisely. Make your decision quick.” Even with this threat, the bounty hunter knew what the bandit would say, because criminals always found a way to repeat the same words:

“Then kill me! I’m not afraid of you!”

The bounty hunter smirked. “Oh, so you’ve made your choice? Well that’s too bad, because I’m taking you to town.”

The hunter grabbed his lasso and caught the man, who was barely alive on the ground. His wound was still bleeding, and at an alarming rate. He dragged him through the sand, and a trail of blood followed.

When the rope got close, he untied the man and held him by the neck. He stared at him with a menacing look.

“I suggest you get on fast, or you won’t be my bounty today. My plans can change in an instant.”

The bandit was terrified. His confidence had been cracked, but he still tried to play off of his formidability. He knew he couldn’t win in this condition, but he had to think quickly.

He panicked and screamed “I don’t want to go to jail again!”

This commotion let him barely slip out of the hunter’s choke. The hunter was surprised that he didn’t grab him with enough force, but it didn’t matter now. He knew what would happen.

The bandit held a weak fist and punched the bounty hunter with all of his remaining strength. He limped over to steal the hunter’s horse while he was down, which still wasn’t fast considering the wound he barred was deadly.

“Damn, that hurt.” The bounty hunter was still shocked that this man had so much strength left. Luckily, he was able to shrug off the attack easily.

“Can’t stop me now, can you?” The criminal said. He mounted the hunter’s horse and rode off into the distance. He smirked at the bounty hunter as he went farther and farther away from his view.

The bounty hunter waited a few seconds before taking action. He wanted to stop the bleeding on his face. He pulled out a cloth and dampened it with the water in his canteen. Luckily, the attack didn’t impact any critical nerves. It was easy to deal with.

The bounty hunter would surely do something about this. In an instant, he loaded another bullet in his gun and aimed at the man’s existing wound. Even though this criminal was dealing with a professional “purifier”, he knew it would be near impossible to hit his wound again, especially as he was on a moving object. He would have to take into account the wind, it’s speed, the distance apart, and make these calculations quickly. He was in disbelief that the bounty hunter could do any of this. His heart was still racing. It was unorthodox. His heart rate was slowing beating faster, and faster, and faster…

The hunter finally said something.

“I commend you for your work, but the only thing you can do now is ask Christ to spare you.”

Baaang!

An even louder and powerful bullet caught up to the man, flying through the air like an eagle. The hawk-like ammunition pierced through the bandit’s skin in the exact same spot as the first impact. It was a devastating blow.

This time, the bandit dropped dead. The hunter’s pinpoint accuracy made it impossible to escape his line of sight in any circumstance. He fell off the hunter’s horse. There was no point in trying to collect the man’s bounty anymore, because his body was completely ruined.

The bounty hunter smirked. “I told you my plans could change.”

After the encounter, the bounty hunter went back to his faction. A bell rang as he opened the door to the building.

“Good evening Percy, did you manage to find any bounties today?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“It seems like there’s even more bounties now. Better find them soon.”

“I’ll deal with them later.”

Percy, the bounty hunter from earlier, is a well-taught fighter. He knows much about the world of gunslinging. He occasionally collects bounties or goes on personal missions. His accuracy is incredible, and his overall skill is outrageously impressive. He is one of a kind.

Percy practiced his shooting at the outside range behind the town.

Bang!.. But this time, it meant nothing. He was aiming at a target.

9 Likes

Twas a good read, could have been more descriptive though.

6/10 would read again.

: ) :heart:

:slight_smile:
:flushed:
:exploding_head:

:moyai: :pen: :paper_magic_var1:

i’m gonna have to agree with ol’ nums here.

here’s some things you could improve imo (take this as suggestions mostly i suck at giving criticism lol, sorry if i sound mean at times)

rule number 1 of writing: show, don’t tell.

now the reader can more easily visualize the scene thanks to the added detail of the bandit’s appearance.

i’m going to assume by ‘colt’ you mean a colt revolver, so i decided to take the liberty of showing the colt, as well

you know im pretty sure people are supposed to react to getting shot sooo

yet again, show don’t tell

in this case, i deleted the first sentence of the old paragraph, as it was mostly unnecessary to showing the gun’s impact considering you already gave us onomatopoeia (the funni bang sound fx)

i also showed the bandit’s not so fun reaction to getting shot by a revolver

i doubt anyone could speak this well after getting shot

boom, the bandit is now clearly hurt by the gun (gun) and they’re making the hunter know it.

i don’t really like this sentence because some criminals have to do their crimes out of necessity but eh

these few sentences don’t flow very well together imo

again, show, don’t tell, my friend. show the reader what the hunter is seeing, what they’re feeling, what they’re hearing, yada yada

eeeeehhhh.

mostly rewriting this for flow

i REALLY don’t like this. the bandit is already a good distance away, and it would be practically impossible for even the best gunman to shoot an existing wound, especially something as small as an open gunshot wound. but i’m going to run with this, and none of the shooting of a wound bullshit gonna go unnoticed round these parts partner :smiling_imp:

and correct me if i’m wrong, but christ literally doesn’t exist in the arcane universe but i’m gonna run with it as well

also most of this describing is pretty unnecessary (wind speed thing yada yada)

i think that’s mostly it. again, sorry if i came off as mean, this is my first time doing formal criticism

2 Likes

ROBO NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

why is it longer than the story

I dont think word count matters that much honestly, but you’re welcome to continue if youd like

ayo he’s doing a danny

2 Likes

i have become the very thing i sought destroy (you)

1 Like

aw shit it glitched

that’s a nice argument, unfortunately I had sexual intercourse with your mother

Ok so something I probably should have mentioned earlier is this isn’t the arcane universe, so don’t worry about the ask christ to spare you thing

Also thanks for the help, although I won’t be taking much help since I can just do that myself

Overall decent effort, I liked how constructive you were and all that. I’ll make the second chapter better, I promise.

1 Like