holy shit taitc covering something original and not making a worse version of something else
no way
woag
what a life changing event
Yeah, apparently nobody has done fighting style stereotypes before. Crazy to think about it.
Anyways, this is a part in my long running “An unbiased opinion and summary of _______ but i try my hardest to piss everyone off” series.
if you know anything about this series, it’s that i pull no punches and when i don’t have things to make fun of in a topic, i’ll make fun of you for completely arbirary things. get ready to get pissed off.
Basic Combat
Imagine going to an expensive bar, it’s got all sorts of gorgeous and expensive drinks that catch your eye. Boxing Beer, Iron Leg Lemonade, Thermo Red Wine, .etc, and instead of getting an actually good drink, you have the gonads to go to your bartender, look them dead in the eyes, and ask for a fucking Milk.
I get it, I totally get it, you’re not an alcohol guy, but good FUCKING lord man, you could at least have gotten one of the non-alcoholic beverages that wasn’t the basic shit. Shame on you.
Boxing
I have a particular disdain for boxing because of the fucking Gloves it forces you to wear.
I mean look at those things they superglue to your palms when you use boxing.
Absolute drip destroyer. And not in a good way. That cool looking outfit you spent god knows how long on? Completely and utterly ruined because you decided to staple fucking CLOWN GLOVES ONTO YOUR HANDS.
Not to mention that they hinder you more than anything as well, they actively LOWER YOUR DAMAGE.
So now, you have:
NO DAMAGE
NO DRIP
and as a result:
NO BITCHES.
though that’s honestly to be expected when you play roblox
Sailor Fist
Anyways, if you run sailor fist you’re probably a dumbass meta loser who probably runs Ice or Lightning cause your favorite thing in any game is being able to stun lock people and your least favorite thing in any game is having fun. You probably also threw a tantrum when you found out the Vetex nerfed Sailor Fist by having you lose hunger when you drink seawater despite the fact that it’s the only thing about this fighting style that makes even a bit of sense.
Thermo Fist
Hey, kids! Do you miss the old AA Impact Fist? Do you want a mediocre alternative that barely increases damage, gives a lousy DOT, makes your attacks marginally master, and actively penalizes you for using it? Well, you have access to exactly that with Thermo Fist!
Looking at the page itself, Thermo Fist genuinely looks like a convoluted balancing act that doesn’t look worth it. If you use it too little, it does jack diddly squat, you’d be better off with literally anything. If you use it too much, it makes your screen all orange and you take more damage from heat attacks.
To be fair though, most people tend to use this just because they’re a magic strength hybrid running a heat magic and just wanted something bland to be able to match their blandness.
Matching bland with bland.
Now that’s a concept.
Iron Leg
Remember when this was called Crane Style?
Me too.
Anyways, you’re either one of 2 people:
- You have a female Berserker/Strength Hybrid file and you unironically want to be stepped on by them.
- You wanna play as the sex offender chef from One Piece.
Both of which are equally as heinous, and you should really go fuck yourself for being either of them
Karate (not added yet)
It’s a fighting style focused on grabs.
We all know how shitty the hitboxes on grabs are, as well as the fact that they don’t work on Bosses.
It’s gonna be shit when it comes out and I bet that literally nobody’s gonna run it for the reasons above and because it also has a drip reduction like boxing in the colored belt it forces you to wear.
So, for running this, you’re probably an idiot. Or you’re a grab addict and you like to play grapplers in fighting games. Sicko.
Also why the fuck isn’t it Judo? Karate only has a few throw techniques while Judo practically revolves around throwing someone across the room.
Knocking Fist
You’re a sailor fist user without the emphasis on Magics.
Knocking Fist still focuses on stuns much like magic-enhanced Sailor Fist so you still hate fun.
Cannon Fist
Let’s be real.
Who even uses this?
Like, really.
I get the appeal of the other fighting styles.
Heck, even basic makes some sense.
But you’re a strength user.
You wanted to live the life of a speedy lightning bruiser who gets in fast, deals a fuck ton of damage and uses the fast movement of your fists to break every bone in your opponent’s body in a matter of seconds, and instead of that, you want to hurl iron balls at people instead.
And not to mention, those iron balls, cost a fuck ton.
So you not only trade off what you want for projectiles, but you’re also taxing your wallet in the process.
So basically, not only are you not real, but you’re also poor, and you’re also probably irish.
What a sad fate.
People who don't fall under any of the summaries i've given and are gonna counteract all of my points by acting like i'm wrong because the stereotype i gave doesn't apply to them
dickbutt
And that’s it.
Remember Kids: If you take this seriously;
Sucks to be you! Go fuck yourself!
